With alchoholics not in recovery they become very many people, thats my experience anyway, my problem is trying to make them into just one personality, one that suits me, pointing out someone elses short falls or highlighting thier traits is not nice and very cruel I have done that, trying to gently guide them to do things the way I would have them do it doesn't work either because they are not me, acceptence acceptence acceptence, letting people be who they need to be, no shoulding or woulding, step aside and let them simply be, when we caretake adults doing for them what they should be doing for themselves they can blame us when it all goes wrong, allow them to feel their own consequences and be kind and supportive sometimes a hug will do, less is definately more in my life right now, rushing in, to save, to help, to do, is something that is changing now in my attitude, and asking myself why do I feel it is my job to take responsibility for someone else! 

Alanon is really helping me grow, as a person, as a wife and most importantly as a mother, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

love

Kty

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