The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just needed to connect with people who probably can identify with the way I am feeling right now. As some of you know who read my previous post several days ago, I have broken up with my ABF. I have to live in his home for the next 6 weeks. I am still waiting to hear whether I have gotten the apartment I put a deposit on. I lived in the very same building not even 4 months ago. Soo stressful. I feel like a schmuk because I have lost so many friends due to the craziness of my relationship, and the few friends I do have are skeptical as to whether our breakup will stick this time. I am very sure that this is the end, but I can't talk to them about it. No one wants to hear. I feel like I haven't done anything with my life for the past 4 years because I was so focused on him and making it work. I am a little bit depressed because before I broke up with him we were looking at buying a home together. Thank god I listened to the voice inside me screaming at me not to put any money down. That said, I don't have anywhere near enough $ to buy a home on my own and I am frustrated at having to rent a tiny place again. I'm in a bit of a lonely place right now. My ex and I barely speak. Nothing to talk about anymore. I pray that life will get better and I will make new friends. Most important I need to learn how to take care of myself. I don't even know what it means to do that anymore!
Yes, you do know what it means. You've already decided you don't want to live the way you have been living. You've put a deposit on an apartment. You are ready to deal with your own issues. And - I hope you're attending Al-Anon meetings? That all sounds like self-care to me.
