I never learn things quickly and I have to do them over and over until they sink in, I suppose I am just needing to touch the hot stove again, my husband was a big drinker when we  first met, I think i had one year with him before he fianally stopped and within that year I had found alanon and so began the unravelling and understanding of what it was I was dealing with, so although I was elated my husband stopped drinking I still hadn't come to grips with, that there was so much more to this than just putting down the drink, and I am still learning, life with my husband was very lonely, I was a one parent family almost, his work came first then his drinking and then I think we his family came somewhere after that, I was starved of affection and love and it was truly a miserable exsistance, my husbands thinking is way off kilter bizarre to say the least at times, yet he is a loving man in his deeds towards his family and me, I know that I romantasized life and how I wished it could be for us, having spent some time away I missed him, his fuddy duddy ways made me smile when I wasn't living with him, I am able to smile a little even though I am with him now and I hope this continues,  so whilst I was a way, after some weeks I started to miss my routines my life style and my personal items, I have returned home on the previzo we are just trying to communicate better listen more and have respect for one another, you see the next step for me would be for us to sell the family home and that means our son would have to find somewhere too, these are huge strides in my life, I hope by leaving I have shown I can make a stand and that I do not need anyone to caretake me, I can be just as ok on my own, and so can they.

love

Katy

  x