It was good to reread my last post I had put up. Lately I have been obsessing again with the alcoholic bf and his drinking. His pattern is he will be sober for 3 days and then go on a bender that last 24 hours a day, wake up, drink. pass out and start all over again. Is insane. This past week, he was able to stay sober for 3 days before going on a drunk.  On sunday by noon he was in the bar drinking and by 5pm staggering drunk. This time, I did not chase after him nor go to the bar to check on him. In fact his house was quite without him being there, it was a relief. When he came back, staggering, he fell on the floor and I just left him there. He got up and sat on the chair and started calling me down, a thief, lier, ect. I stopped what I was doing, working on the computer, and grabbed a few things and left back to my apartment. (yes, I have my own place but I spend time at his house) I did not return to his place until the following evening when he was sober. He was remorseful and had a mark on his nose from falling. He again went on the "I am going to get help" trip I have heard so many times in the past 4 months and nothing happening. He went back to work on Wednesday and will be working in camp (works in the trades) for the next two weeks. Since he left I have been staying at my apartment and its been a relief. I think this is throwing him for a loop as I had not been staying at my apartment a lot since I have met him, rather staying at his house. I feel better being her in my apartment and not being near him. I know he will drink after work and get drunk (bar at his camp), but I have to expect that, he is a serious active alcoholic and its been 5 days since he last had a drink. I am working really hard to keep the focus on myself and not giving him another thought. Its a challenge. I have a strong feeling I will end the relationship as its too unpredictable and his drinking is way out of control, once he starts he will not stop until he has no money left and is so sick. The shakes and withdrawals are awful and I know I do not deserve this. I say this but my heart says different, I love him and I want to be with him. I am so confused. I am going for dinner tonight so I will not be alone.