The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Wow--a *long* time since I posted but it has been years that I have been coming here. Last night I told my AH (who has been moved out for THREE years now) that I want a divorce. I have struggled for what feels like eternity about this decision and everyone told me that I would know when the time was right what to do. It was exactly like that.
I am OK for today--I know the next steps will be horrible (he can financially wipe me out--and I am terrified about the custody of our 2 girls) BUT...I need my life back.
THANK you to Al-Anon for all the support, wisdom, and strength. I feel like I will be visiting these boards more often as it all unfolds.
Welcome back. I understand the terrified feelings you are experiencing. Focusing on the day, sometimes the hour, sometime the minute was all I could do when I first separated from and then later divorced my x. I had very young children, no real support from anyone around me, and work 20 hours a week at $4.50 an hour. Between us, we didn't have any real ownership of anything - just a lot of bills. I've been divorced since 1979. I can tell you that I would make the same decision I did today as I did in 1979. My HP was with me all the way and although it wasn't the ideal for me or my kids it was a much better deal than living the way I had been living with the man I chose for my husband. I cut my losses and moved on and needed to do that for me and for my kids. I'm glad you're in Al-Anon and also are experienced with MIP. Good support systems you have offered yourself in your choices.