Struggling with a decision - Al-Anon Family Group

Flower49 · Senior Member

Struggling with a decision

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Linda If this is an event you have attended in the past I would not abandon my (needs) or life to please another.

When living with this disease, I let go of so many of my life' s dreams and interests in an effort to maintain the peace. When I finally joined alanon and looked about, I I found I had lost me.

Look at your motives and if you are going there in order to strengthen your program, I would go without any difficulty. I would not check to see where they were and simply go about attending meetings I enjoyed
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Good Luck

Flower49 · Senior Member

Betty, that is what my gut said to myself, I like the speakers, I like the fellowship and I am working my recovery to gain strength. Thank you for your support.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Good work Linda Let us know how it goes.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I have an aunt whose husband has the disease. She is a very gentle creature with a soft and loving heart - so of course, she was getting pecked at continually by somebody. She ended up managing a fabric shop where employees pecked away at her trying to see how far they could get. She hated it when folks were upset and didn't like to come down on people. She tried to change herself continually to appease others until one day she sat up straight in her bed and realized she didn't want to behave that way anymore. She developed a new attitude that she took into her job and into her family life with all men. It was this: "I'm here. Deal with it." Worked for her. She didn't become aggressive. She was still a gentle person with a soft heart. And she drew boundaries for herself that made it possible to go where she wanted to go and do what she wanted to do because she needed or wanted to do it. She knew she wasn't a mean or self-centered person and that she deserved to have her needs and some of her wants met, too. People didn't know what to make of her at first and then they made some changes because she was done trying to adapt to the whims of everybody else in her life.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 14th of August 2014 02:02:40 PM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 14th of August 2014 02:40:58 PM

Flower49 · Senior Member

Beautifully said!

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I love Gratefuls post.....enjoy yourself and keep our good wishes with you smile

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Good ESH above, for sure! I would add that this may come under the heading of "it's none of my business what other people think of me".

Kenny

Flower49 · Senior Member

Kenny!!!! Thank you for the gentle reminder. You made my day :)

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

NP I need the reminder of that one a lot myself!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Um what makes you care what stupid, immature people think?

hmmm hugs, GO

cloudyskies · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Linda, if you feel it in your gut that you need to go, then, I say that's your HP talking to you. Go! You never know what you may learn.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with hotrod, taking an honest look at your own motives would be a good one here. If you want to go for your own personal growth then go, if its about your husband then maybe that is something to work on and not going would be a gokd move and progress for you. What others think or say about you is none of your business thankfully, their opinions are not based on a full set of facts so therefor is worthless.x

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.