The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was home for lunch, with my son, and a knock on the door. My son answered and I hear him ask for my AH. My son said he wasn't here.... Anyway, it turns out it is a man here to mow our yard. Seriously! lol! They measure our lawns in square feet; not acres. He has only mowed the front lawn and my son has to do the back. I pull weeds and trim trees, etc. Prior to living here we had 3 acres, that I mowed or my boys mowed. Prior to that we lived in a gated community and noone mowed as it was done for us. I piddled in the butterfly garden. But, as I thought, "He doesn't do a think now except mow half of a small yard four months out of the year as it is". Just how lazy can any one person be? I kept hearing LIVE AND LET LIVE. I guess my son leaving will put the back yard on him; and oh my! That is so much work. LIVE AND LET LIVE. My son and I said, "well now that he doesn't have to buy groceries for us, or clothes he can pay a yard man." LIVE AND LET LIVE.
It is none of my business how he decides to spend his money or hire out his one little chore; etc. etc. etc. However, I did think, "Well, if you are not going to mow, can I take the lawnmower, edger, other lawn equipment?" :) I am sure that would be a definate no as he is already complaining that we are taking our beds and leaving the bedrooms empty. He has slept on the sofa for a year, so not sure why that is a concern to him. He goes upstairs to shower, otherwise sit on the sofa and watches TV. A real recluse. LIVE AND LET LIVE.
My housekeeper is ending her job w/ us when I leave. I told her it would not bother me if she stayed w/ him as I know she needs the work & didn't want her to feel she had to leave because I was leaving. She and her husband do not feel comfortable w/ her coming to clean for him so she is not even going to ask him. But, my name will be off this piece of property soon and don't have to concern myself w/ its upkeep and value.
LIVE AND LET LIVE. Thank you God for reminding me of this simple truth. I am not in control of anyone but me.
This reminds me of when we lived in a cool section of Houston, with little bungalows on small yards. The back yard was all old swimming pool and decks and plant beds and the front yard had brick walkways and plant beds and a "lawn" the size of a King-sized bed. I am not exaggerating. And I had to hire somebody to do it. If I'd kept my push mower, I could have done it myownself.
It was hysterical.
Now he's retired and we have a bigger yard and live in a drier place, and he "doesn't have time" to do enough watering. I haven't been able to get around very well, but I have done the last two days. I told him I'm not asking him to do anything I haven't done. I kept an acre of trees and grass alive in Tulsa during the dry months. And quite a bit of the neighbor's. I mean--how can you look at an enormous tree that is obviously needing water and do nothing?
I've got tree people coming Monday--going to have them bring a tank of water and soak everything. The city doesn't help--we're rationed.
Sorry--I didn't mean to hijack the thread. It's one of those "Dpn't get me started" topics. Grins.
((((Blessed))))
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
As someone who is just coming back from a 'vacation' away from working the steps, I can say that LIVE AND LET LIVE is a RELIEF. It saves me from having to carry every person and every problem on my shoulders. I no longer need to micromanage other people's lives, and I don't need to always try to save everyone from the negative consequences of their own actions. I have a hard enough time just trying to live my own life right, apart from trying to manage everyone else's life decisions.
