I went to a court review for my AH today, nothing changed because as usual the people that are the powers  to be in his life don't show up....can you imagine if he didn't show up when he is told too...they don't set a good example. Anyway, his PO was talking to him and he was going on and on about how great he is doing, how he helps everyone in his house, he listens....blah, blah, blah. She then approached me and asked me if I saw progress and I asked her well do you want me to be honest and she said of course, so I told her No. She looked dumbfounded, she asked why not and I told her how would I see any progress, I am only allowed one call a week, a visit every two weeks and a total time then of communication each month of about 2 hours. I told her he says something stupid every time I talk to him and places blame on me for not getting his fourth step work done because the guys in the house fall for his lies and think I am the big bad b***. I told her he doesn't make his agreed upon payment on time and I have to hunt him down. I then told her if I see his progress or not doesn't really matter, it's his recovery not mine and I cannot and will not be involved in it at this time and probably never I have my own program.

We were able to talk after court together and I think he was sad, but I am not going to sit and cheer him on, when his behaviors towards me are not much improved, so he asked for an example and I told him, Well you were not progressing on your fourth step, so you did your usual thing and threw me under the bus, coming up with your plan of talking to me once a week for only 10 minutes and then seeing me only once every two weeks usually at a movie for 2 hours and we don't really talk about anything. He told them it was me making him not focus on the fourth step and he knew that was a lie.

Today as the PO was talking to him, she mentioned that the house man wasn't too happy with his progress again this week on his fourth step. LOL....my thoughts were correct, it's him not me. I felt good telling her the truth that no I don't see any progress other than he is forced into sobriety right now by her and the court. Sure he can talk the talk but when he starts getting privileges and trying to come for home visits will be the true test. I told her I know exactly what he will do. He will get a Saturday pass, come home, plop   in the recliner  and sleep the whole time. All he ever talks about is wanting to get more sleep and he has always done that. She asked if he ever asks his Dad to activities or to visit and he said no, but his Dad said I wouldn't go there anyway.

Usually I leave that woman's presence seething with anger, crying, and feeling awful. Today I didn't. I was honest about my opinions and feelings and I was able to state them in a calm and clear manner.  I feel like I have made some progress finally.

-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 13th of August 2014 12:50:59 PM