The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am still very emotional very unsettled lots of thoughts and feelings, We are not fighting and seem to be getting along much better, I am still fighting my own acceptence though of what was what I needed and what I got, I understand he could not meet my needs he didn't know how, in five weeks I have started to improve in my well being my fear of doing anything wrong is getting less, my friend does everything to make me feel welcome and cared for, my life with my husband was very supressed very controlled and manipulated, my husband phoned me sunday upset our son had upset him, I said do you want me to pop around for a coffee, he said yes, my husband said he was not happy with our sons behaviours he siad he wanted him to move out he was going to tell him and then change the locks, my heart was heavy this has been on going for years, so I just tried to listen and then he asked me for my advice, I said since I no longer live with this problem I felt it was not my place to comment, and that it was his house and his boundaries and if he felt they were being crossed he was within his right to set a consequence, he said but your still his mother, I said I know that, and he is an adult, I don't feel I can get involved in this issue now, so I went away feeling sad kind of guilty actually like I had abandaned them but then the next night our son came to see me, and I said hows things, he said fine, dad had took him out for dinner they had gone to look at motorbikes and although he was a bit niggly all was well, A's are drama queens they make mountains out of molehills and mess with my head, funny how even though I am not there I still get sucked in, I am not ready to look beyond this day just taking it slowly really and seeing how each day unfolds!
I want to suggest reading "The Merry-go-Round Named Denial." It is Al-Anon approved literature and has been a life saver for me at times. My copy is worn and not the cleanest - I've pulled it out at various times for years. It might be a help to you, too.
Sounds to me like you got just sucked in a little, and kept up your tools to keep up your boundaries as you needed. It sounds like you are making great progress!!
Good work! I liked the gentle reminder of A's make mountains out of molehills.....that is just so true. I am going to learn from your post right now and work on handling and knowing the difference between mountains and molehills.
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Linda
Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will have it's own worries
