The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After being sober for 9 days,my A has been drinking again since last Thursday (one day after his pay day- sickness allowance)When he was sober and after going away on a binge for 4 days and sleeping in his car, I told him not to drink in my house and stay away when he is drunk. When I got back from work yesterday he was still drunk. I threw him out last night and told him to come back when he is sober. He came home today early evening and of course he was drunk. He only wanted to get a few things to go out tonight with a friend on a boat. I didn't want to wrestle him for the car keyes again and called police. I'll never do that again. They didn't help at all. They couldn't do anything because he wasn't driving yet. All they promised was to give his plate number to patrole cars in the area.He refused to leave my house after they had gone. I had an anxiety attackand coul hardly breath. My 10 year old got my neighbour to come over. She took me over to her house until my A left and I had calmed down. The worst thing is that my 16 year old son is very angry with me because I called police. Maybe he has a point when he says: 'What do you expect? He is an alcoholic". I feel soooo bad now but I want this crazyness to stop. What do you think? I am going mad and I also missed my meeting tonight.
You came to the right place. This is the next best thing to a f2f meeting. This is about the disease and what it does to us. It is hard to hear our children take the A side. My son said that if I wasn't so controlling then my A wouldn't have moved out. But at least he said something and didn't just suppress it.
Hi assume you are in Australia as I am. If you can't get to any meetings I can recommend the lone member part of the al anon organisation. If you look up your local organisation you can email them and they will post out all the stuff you need to join. You are doing okay you have already encountered step one and accepting what you can and cannot manage. You are also setting boundaries so don't be so hard on yourself u r doing great. If you are still stressed try burning some lavender oil with water in your home it is calming and a few drops on the pillow will help you to sleep. Luv Leo xx
I wasn't there, but the only mistake I see is missing your meeting when you needed it most! Good Luck to you. Remember everything is life-ending at 16. But they get over it! Work on your recovery and leave his to him. Does your son do Alateen? Another option.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
For what it's worth, I don't see that you did anything wrong.... There is an old adage in Al-Anon, in that: "I did the best I could, with what I knew at the time", and I think this fully applies to you and your situation....
Keep doing what you are doing - your path will become clear. Try to give yourself a bit of credit as well, as this stuff is really tough, and really exhausting.
Take care, and keep working on YOUR recovery...
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I think Doxi is right You Cannot Control this disease. The only thing you can control is yourself and the enviroment you choose to live in. You know what is best for you and your family. Stick to you guns because you matter too and don't forget.
Yes, I am in Australia(Adelaide) Are there any more Aussies? Thanks to everybody for their replies. You all give me hope. My a is back on track for the minute. I know, one day at the time. It is good to have this site to go to and read about the struggles others are facing. For the first time in my life and pushing 50 I feel not totally alone.
