when life becomes unmanageable - Al-Anon Family Group

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

when life becomes unmanageable

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Good example of rehashing the past and trying to get everybody on the same page vs starting over and starting from where we are and working with what we have to work with now. Thanks, Bud.

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Yes and hearing you say it makes for an even better perspective! Thank you Grateful

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

aww

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I am glad you brought it here instead of isolating. I have learned that shame causes me to withdraw sometimes. When I resist that urge to isolate because of shame and speak out to recovery people, the feelings of shame diminish. A few years ago my husband and I chose to file chapter 13 bankruptcy. We had rental properties that we could no longer carry financially and we felt like we were drowning. To say this was a difficult decision does not begin to describe the agonizing times we experienced. During one of my meetings I shared what was going on....I felt loved, validated and accepted. It made the process easier, for sure. Thanks for the post, Bud.

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you so much for your reply and I'm so sorry you had that! Your sharing helps!

I hadn't defined my horrible feeling- but yes, it was exactly shame. Shame for not having been smarter, for not beating the disease, for being fooled, betrayed, for being so stupid, affected by the disease yet again... and, dealing with crazy, rude people to top it off... all hallmarks that I've just fallen into a rabbit hole. I'm grateful I didn't stay there for long, or worse, dig an even deeper tunnel.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Bud I so get you.I changed my name back after the divorce, still have not called or sent paperwork to everyone. I know they will screw it up. cell still won't send pics, brand new. call the philipines? no thanks.

even the internet company employees are a brick short from a porch! they say the dumbest things. rrrrr

please forgive yourself. I will fight something as along as I can handle it. I fought my mortgage company for years. gave up. they send my payments back!

they lose my file,did not file things correctly, did illegal things. I have no paid a house payment since 09 I gave up. Recently a group who helps others in oregon when they are dealing with illegal mortgage co. tried to help. the mor. co screwed up and now i have two more years plus that they cannot come near me. gads.

Believe me I understand, not worth our serenity. YOur attitude sounds good. and remember that do not be hard on yourself! its a hard world for petes sake! hugs, debilyn

tiredtonite · Veteran Member

I guess these are the lessons hp puts on our path. You know how your mistake happened and are doing something to correct it now. Sometimes we become so overwhelmed we just can't bear to justify, argue, defend or explain to yet another person even in instances when to do so would be taking our personal power back. You are up to that now and making a conscious choice to go forward and address the matter. It's a great example that is of being true to yourself. TT

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you TT! It feels so good to be understood!

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks so much Debilyn! Exactly- you know what I mean! Thank you for the reminder to forgive myself and that my thoughts are healthy.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Bud)) It is all a process and we will continue to be human . I am glad you shared and are wiling to keep taking care of yourself without blame and shame .

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Many thanks Hotrod! Yes, I guess I am still human despite myself!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.