The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Made it through another crazy weekend with AH drinking non stop. I thought last Saturday/ Sunday was bad when he came home at 7:00 am with 12 year old grand daughter sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. She said, "grandpas home". I almost died from fear and embarrassment. She then pointed out he had a flat tire. This Saturday /Sunday he came in at 7:00 am and his truck was all caved in on the side. He hit a deer or rather the deer hit him. He did not report it last night because he was drunk. I doubt the insurance will fix it without a police report. I guess that is his problem. I just sit here shaking my head. I can't do anything about his problem.
I am reading my Al-anon books trying to detach from the problem. I worked on the first step in my book Reaching For Personal Freedom. I still do not have a sponsor. I was going to ask someone at my Friday noon meeting but I couldn't attend. I had my other grand daughter 10 year old with me and I didn't think I could take her. If I call the person I want to be my sponsor not sure how it will go. I really think I need someone to tell me it's ok to feel so alone and unmanageable.
Aoha Ellen...lots of times I had to go against my doubts and fears and do the next right thing just so I could get a different outcome than crazy. It worked for me over time cause over time I kept working the program...Keep coming back. ((((hugs)))).
Dear Ellen, I can understand exactly how you're feeling as I have been there. I have felt the confusion, the sadness, the despair of which you speak and felt as if I was only going through the motions. It is okay to feel that way and you are not alone.
I wanted to note that by attending Al-Anon meetings, reading Al-Anon literature, posting on the Al-Anon board and attempting to implement the thoughts and ideas of the Al-Anon principles you are taking the most constructive, beneficial and compassionate actions you can take for yourself and your entire family.
It really is a process and takes time and effort. Just keep showing up one day at a time and before you know it, the courage, serenity and wisdom of the serenity prayer will be yours.
Hi Hullibee. I can certainly understand how you are feeling. I think all of us who are living with alcoholism are simply trying to stay sane. my ah just got his truck repaired after being hit in the back right fender. He was charged for not yielding the right of way. My husband was not charged with dui although he most definitely was drinking. I think when the police office saw his Viet Nam war veteran tag on the front of his truck, he felt sorry for him. If I could see this officer I would tell him he did not do my ah any favors by not charging him. Anyway, he did have to pay a hefty fine and his insurance is probably going up. He's going to have to pay that.
It's hard --this detachment thing, and I understand how alone you feel. I used to feel that no one could understand my pain, anger, hurt, and resentment, but there are so many people who are living with exactly what we live with and feel what we feel.
You hang in there and keep going to your meetings, reading and working your program.
((Huggs))
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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold O-on P-pain E-ends
