Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Going for ct scan of my foot today
Post Info TOPIC: Going for ct scan of my foot today
lookingup


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1008
Date:
Going for ct scan of my foot today
Permalink  

Abf is driveing me for my ct scan today at 3 pm,he left for work this morning ,he was running late,his phone started ringing I didn't ? Him or go look at his ph Or even say a thing I stayed where I was guess I done good for a change even though I had to bite a bullit cause  y'all know how bad I'm to checking on him and ?ing him I didn't even say a thing but he didn't care but was prolly relieved that I didn't bother him,I love him to the bottom of my heart we have shared everything over our 7 yrs ,lots of up and downs for sure,yes this house belongs to me everything is in my name I pay all bills he is really just a guest in my home ,why I put up with his crap I dunno except for the last few yrs things was going swell that's when I got attached to him before that I kicked him out every other week cause of his behavior,then it didn't bother me I wasn't so attached then like I am now now his crap has started back but this time with a woman that I have no control over,when things get bad he throws up to me all the bad things I've done like putting his clothes out the door and telling him I'll put them at the road side if he didn't pick them up and he would add to it in a angry tone that he didn't have no where to go but to a shelter or under a bridge when I kicked him out but id tell him it was due to his own doings reason I had to put him out he don't hear that part I'm sure just that I'm cruelland I'm cold to him,I'm not though I'm too good to him,he gave me some of the money he owed me this morning said he would give me the rest this afternoon of what he owed me,I know as soon as he decides to walk out my door for good I'm gonna. Turn into a noodle inside and out,this part scares me cause it's like I feel it coming,the other woman is a strong person and evidently has fallen in love with my abf,my BFF gives a lot of affection and love great in bed,and great companionship but since she has come into the picture it all changed,when his ph. Went down for 2weeks he was back to his loveing self with me but now that he has his ph. Back it's all started over again she has a great influence on him for some reason ,she drives a new car and has money where I don't I get by,she has a lot going for her like marykay bus. She is in and goes to the med clinic for weight loss .i guess she is very appealing to him and with her sweet words to him she praises him and pets him.im sick of it all just that I know I should kick him out for good,but scared of what will happen to me physically I know that it's only temp. That my mind and body will go through that but I can't and have never been able to do it ended up in a psycho ward one time after my kids dad walked out on me and our 2kids for another woman.im just trying to stick to this board and steps ,meetings hopeing for the strength to do what I need to do without a meltdown of anysort,if I can tough it out to stay out of his phone bus,and not mention the other woman to him anymore it may or may not get better I dunno he is like going through the motions by saying I love you and a quick kiss on the lips,not like him I still have it in my mind of what I read on his cell ph.to the other woman back few mths back ,he texted ,,I love you and I want to do you,that goes around and around in my head every other daytime there in my head,I feel like I'm sitting waiting on him and her to drop the bomb on me that they are moving in together or she has him another place to live,she is controlling nature also,I'm not gonna try calling her husband anymore cause when I did the other day he never answered and I knew immediately that she got to his ph.and deleted it before he got it,like I said he is a humble icing old man and she is young my age she is.so she has the upper hand and the deck of cards if she so decides to act on it.im just a place to stay till they get their ducks in a row,I maybe all in my head I dunno but why should I feel this way,I dunno what to say to my abf unless it's accusations toward her and him,so I keep quiet when I guess I should be asking him where or what is in this relationship for me what am I getting out of it.



__________________

Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
Jill


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1020
Date:
Permalink  

Oh I think you have come to the correct conclusion. It will benefit you when you ask yourself what you are getting out of this relationship.
Take a while and consider that very question.

Meanwhile, take good care of yourself and your children. That's our job.

Keep coming back.


__________________
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  

 

 

Looking up I know what you are expressing and remembering when I was there with my alcoholic/addict unloving, uncaring, conditional loving spouse and that all ended for me when I found and got into the Al-Anon face to face meetings and then the program permanently.  Go get you heart and whole self saved...if you haven't already.   ((((hugs))))    ....and keep coming back here also...let us love you till  you learn to love yourself.   smile



__________________
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

I know this is horribly hard. It does hurt. It is very apparent he is staying to get all he can from you. that does not mean he does not have some  kind of affection for you, though not a healthy kind.

I am proud of you for cont. to come here to vent. It helps a lot.

Now are your kids with you? I have not heard you mention them much. I cannot imagine them seeing you go thru this.

Letting go is something we all have to do at our own pace.

sounds like you get nothing but pain from  him. Myself I would do as  you did before. Pack up his stuff and put it outside or take it to his friends or families and change the locks. I would make the decision myself instead of waiting for him to.

keep coming back!

 



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

lU MEETINGS, METINGS, MEETINGS

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
lookingup


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1008
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks for all the esh

__________________

Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
PP


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3964
Date:
Permalink  

As Betty said, meetings, meetings, meetings.



__________________

Paula
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Going for ct scan of my foot today