The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been with my bf going on 3 years next month. I knew when we started that he was an alcoholic but I decided to give it a chance. I was also a drinker but quit a few months after we started dating. My papa just died of alcoholism and my bf's mom died of it too eight years ago. My bf had to watch what it was doing to her and had to take care of her. He became an alcoholic because it was easier for him to push the pain down and drink to forget it. I have been thru so much with him and his drinking. Recently he has started lying to me about it. That was my last straw. I am now trying to break up with him. He tells me that he is changing because he does not want to lose me. He has started going to a counselor. He hasn't drank since last Sunday that I know of. But I cannot trust him because he has lied before about drinking. I don't know what to do. I love him so much and I want him to get better but I don't wanna wait anymore. I have been trying to get him to change and it makes me feel bad because he shouldn't have to change. He has pushed me so far and shut me out for so long and now he trying to get me back. I don't know what to do? I need help. Should I give him one more chance or just go?
If you don't attend Al-Anon meetings for friends and family members who love someone with a drinking problem or alcoholism, that is the best advice I could offer you - to find some local meetings and attend them. There we find help and hope for ourselves whether or not the person we love stops or keeps drinking. A person who drinks doesn't drink because of you or me or even their sick Moms or Dads. They drink because they do.
My son is a self-professed alcoholic and drug addict. I don't drink or use prescription or street drugs to help me cope. I watched my Mom die of cancer and my Dad die due to an infectious disease that killed him. I didn't drink then either. It isn't the outer issues or people that cause us to drink to excess. It is the disease of alcoholism that pushes a person beyond reasonable drinking into crazy making drinking.
Al-Anon will help you learn more about this disease, how it affects us and how we can help ourselves as the disease progresses without treatment. This disease has the power to destroy not only our loved ones but us without the support of a formal recovery program. Keep coming back here, too.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 3rd of August 2014 03:44:23 PM
Dear "Confused GF " Welcome to Miracles in Progress. As you have experienced from your own painful experience, alcoholism is a progressive fatal disease over which we are powerless.
Living with the disease and attempting to cope with the insanity of the behaviors we become irrigable and unreasonable without even knowing it.
As Catherine suggested, alanon is a fellowship of people who have lived with this dreadful disease and meet in face to face meetings in most communities in an effort to solve our common problems
Breaking the isolation caused by dealing with the disease is a huge, important tool to your recovery, Meetings, the steps the slogans are all offered to us to help rebuild our self esteem and self worth These have been badly damaged as a result of the disease.
Please try the meetings and keep coming here You will be able to make the right decision for you
