The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband went into a 30 rehab in April, then was transferred to a 90 day, of which he didn't finish, he was asked to leave 30 days early due to an altercation. So, when he got out, he wasn't allowed home yet, I wanted to see him work his sobriety in the general public. Needless to say, he was not happy about that, very sad/upset. We did kind of get back together, he ended up moving in early July, and it was just drama. So, as soon as he started working, and got paid, he wanted to move out. Well......he's blown all of his checks and has even changed his drug if choice to a more serious and dangerous one. I am concerned that he is going to kill himself, he will end up on the streets...I think he should go back to rehab, at least to gain done sobriety. He doesn't think it will help, says he knows what they're gonna say. Says he can get sober in his own.
Do you think going back to rehab and actually completing 90 days will make a difference? I mean, do people do that, go back into rehab when they have only been out for 45 days?
It doesn't sound to me like he's hit bottom, sunrise. My son went to a wonderful rehab facility and was bounced the first night for smoking in the dorms. They told him he could come back in two weeks. He didn't. I talked with a drug counselor friend of mine who told me wasn't ready. That may be true of your husband, too. As far as going back after 45 days - maybe? But, he doesn't want to go from what you're saying here? Maybe its a moot point?
If he doesnt want to go to rehab, forcing him to go is just flushing money down the loo. He does know what they are going to say, if he doesnt wamt to hear ithhe isn't ready.
Ending up on the street may be what he needs to change his mind. 10 days of jail is what changed my AWs mind. I would never have wished that on her but when she got to rehab she was ready to give in and did everything they told her. She is now more than 8 months sober.
If he wanted to get sober, he'd go back in. If he's determined not to get sober, no amount of rehab will make any difference.
it sounds like he's giving you his answer. Sadly it's not the answer any of us would have wished for.
It also sounds like he's hoping your generosity will keep him off the streets. But the streets could be his bottom. It's not until they experience the real cost of addiction that they want to live differently. (If they ever do.)
As the saying goes, "He's going to do what he's going to do, what are you going to do?"
Mine got out of rehab and relapsed in 3 days, gave me 10 days of drama that ended in his arrest, suicide attempt and forced in patient stint. The rehab offered to take him back for 30 days. He didn't want to go either. He also said he "had heard it all"........trouble was he heard it........but he wasn't listening. You can't make him listen (he has to decide to do that all by himself).
I was not going to take him back, he had nowhere to go and decided on his own to go back. His listening skills kicked in and he finished it and went into a sober living for awhile, he came home and is doing well and is 6 months sober next week.
I just know that I will not live with an active drinker. That's just me...........you have to decide what you can live like........and then change what you can to make it happen. Very hard to decide----I know. Take care and best wishes
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
