The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've decided to start reading more. I started reading "The Secret." Has anyone read it? Interesting, but I might have a hard time buying into it all. However, it is like believing in a higher power and trusting him. There are 3 steps. 1. Ask. Ask for what you want from the "universe". I substitute God for Universe. Ask out loud, or write it down. 2. Believe. Believe in what you want. Believe that you will get what you need/want. 3. Receive. Gladly receive the positive things in life.
The book points out that positive thoughts have more energy than negative thoughts. I am really working on changing my thoughts to be positive. One way to do this is every time you find yourself thinking a negative thought, replace it with a positive one. So, it's good to have a few positive thoughts lined up...like thoughts about people, nice places, etc. that you can quickly put into your brain to replace the negative thought. Might be easier said than done, but I am really trying to re-wire my brain. I cannot constantly worry about the things my AH does or does not do. What a waste of time and energy! One great thing the book talks about is how we attract all the negative things in life. Sounds like al anon talk to me! I don't know if I agree we attract negative things like car accidents, death, etc but we do attract negative people! Also, a good example was if you listen to negative conversations, negative thoughts fill your head then you might continue to think negatively all day long. It's like a chain reaction. This might be simple knowledge to some people, but it was helpful to me.
Also might read Harry Potter. My youngest started reading the first book and she loves it. I need some books to fill my brain with different thoughts.
I've read The Secret and I've walked out on Harry Potter - just not for me. What is for me is the fact that both authors are women who hit really hard places in their lives, did what they felt inspired to do, and changed their lives for the better. I am drawn to true stories - especially of women - who listened to their inner voice and did what it led them to do. That, to me, is Al-Anon program working at its best. Neither woman might have been in Al-Anon (although who would know - it is anonymous?) and each followed the next right step to a new life for themselves and their families. Rhonda Byrne's book was promoted by Oprah who also is a woman who overcame great odds and gives credit to her Higher Power for it. It was Oprah's promotion that made The Secret a best seller. Maybe you're being led by your HP to learn from women who learned to accept themselves, their realities and their call to be of service in some way to humanity?
I didn't read it but I watched it on Netflix last week. Very interestingthis may be a sign I need to rewatch it ;) I also need to start a gratitude journal. I agree with everything you said above.
Will have to watch it on Netflix. I am just trying to figure out ways to be positive and rewire my brain. Hopefully it helps to get out of my own head.
-- Edited by Newlife girl on Wednesday 30th of July 2014 09:19:15 PM
What helped me also was attitude work...look for the good...positive perceptions...attitudes of gratitudes and the like. Tonight's home group meeting was on Happiness and partly it being an "inside" job. One of our new members was caught up in negative perceptions this evening and doubting some of the things the meeting suggest and was tearful about it. She needed reassurance that with time and attendance and support and commitment she will come to see and understand what the rest of the fellowship now knows and that we were all where she is right now and found out what the program suggest comes about if and when we work for it. I don't remember reading the Secret and I have read "When man listens, God speaks" that was very supportive. (((((hugs)))))
Im glad your trying to take your mind of your husband, be gentle with yourself if you can, it took years for you to get this messed up so it will take time to unravel. Ive not read a book in a long time, I read alanon most of the time, but that could be part of my compulsive obsessive defect, lol. I think ive saw that film too. If you go to the alanon website there is a whole list of reading that will help with your awareness.x
Certainly the principle of replacing negative thoughts w/ positive thoughts is, uh, positive. :) For me, my faith, God, says to "take every thought captive....." I do live by this Word, and when a word is spoken to me that is not nice, (usually by AH, or a mean patient at work) I say to self, "And what does God say about that?" And then I say, "Well, God disagrees, so you are wrong." Of course these conversatiosn are in my own mind/soul, and not spoken to the person speaking ill of me, but it allows me to retreat from their negative "vibes" and not let them settle on me. And get back behind my boundary line and stay in peace. It is an exercise I try to implement as it occurs. Oh, yea, sometimes I let the words sink in and I get mad, but as soon as I can put it where it belongs, in the garbage, I am much better.
I have used slogans from AlAnon to replace some of those thoughts as well as Scripture that I know. Both help me to focus on what is healthy and right; and not on what is trying to destroy me.
