The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've picked up some bad habits of his ever since all his foolishness,I'm now back to smoking and I take bc powders everyday both of them are some of his bad addictions are now mine,but I do own them cause he didn't make me do them and he didn't encourage me do do them either he did try to discourage me but I wouldn't listen to him.i know I'm talking about him again I don't mean to it's just that he is the biggest part of my life right now and I am his I guess hopefully I'll get that point that I'll only talk about me.i know y'all are looking forward to that and leave him out of my conversation here,still in my recovery I know this board is becoming my life saver I get so excited to get to come back later to read all your replies that it's like a Christmas presents to me :)
It sounds as if, with the nerve pills, the smoking, and the BC powders, you're seeking ways to soothe your nerves.
I know that growing up in turmoil, I didn't feel "right" if there wasn't a lot of turmoil and worry around me. The chaos felt familiar. But it still took its toll. It still made me anxious. That's what chaos does, because we weren't made to live in chaos.
I can't help but wonder if some of this is happening to you. Sort of a sign that the worry is there. And who wouldn't worry, with everything that's happened and might happen again. Worry would be natural and protective. Hope you'll take good care of yourself.
It can take time to change a bad habit but posting about it is taking ownership of it. It shows awareness and willingness to find answers for self care. If you want to change any of those things there are resources for quitting smoking etc. You're ready when you're ready. I am trying to remember to invite my hp into my decisions more. We aren't alone and we don't have to do it alone. Yes, we have one another too and people can offer their experience, strength and hope to us but ultimately for me anyway my relationship with my higher power, praying for my higher power's will for this day only and the power to carry that out through my day is what helps me to regain my balance. No one has to tackle it all alone or all in one day. Staying present and close to my higher power throughout the day helps me deal with situations as they come throughout the day.
As far as sharing about the alcoholic in your life, there are no rules in this program and I suppose there are differing opinions about including the alcoholic in your sharing. I think we learn from each other here and share what we need to share to learn and grow healthier. Try to be gentle with yourself and please keep reaching out. I like in person Alanon meetings and try to make more of them when there's more stuff going on in my life and I usually end up calling my Alanon sponsor more at those times. Maybe those things might help you some also. You'll decide what works best for you. Take good care and keep coming back. ((hugs))) TT
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I have read all 3 of your latest posts and want to affirm that I have listened and heard. I hear that you are gaining a greater awareness of you and perhaps a lot of worry that is trying to come to the surface? This a time to unload the crap that is weighing you down..here and in meetings....it will help you see more, then you can take the right action. Most mornings I write 3 pages of random stuff, just to purge. I check in with how I am feeling and include that in my ramblings. I love the 3 A's. Awareness of feelings, acceptance of those feelings, and right action. You keep going and keep coming back!
I don't see any problems about you posting about your A. We are here as a community of people who know what it is like to live with and/or relate to an alcoholic. As such, we all know that you need to talk about your qualifier, especially at first, and that sometimes you need to vent about your qualifier, and sometimes you just need to vent about life. I know I do need that, so part of my service work is to make sure I listen to others when they vent, and give them virtual hugs and/or ESH.
Glad you posted about your new-found habits, I agree that that post shows your awareness and acceptance, now here is some encouragement to take action - ((lookingup)).
I know that after a few good months of recovery in AA, my AW got off all anti-anxiety meds that she had been on for at least 10 years. Less money to CVS, and one less opiate to have to worry about! So recovery can and will help, but it's a process, so it will take time. Keep coming back, and you may look back and be amazed that you have so much more strength than you ever realized!
