Step 1 .Admit that I'm powerless my addictions and that my life has become unmanageable. - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · ~*Service Worker*~

Step 1 .Admit that I'm powerless my addictions and that my life has become unmanageable.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

A few of your addictions are codependency and your boyfriend. Your perception of a life that is now manageable is an illusion, because your manageability is dependent on him. I am not an alcoholic so my comparison here is only from what I understand in my head. An alcoholic believes their life is manageable when they take a drink..in between drinks there may be anxiety, etc....but when they get their drink, there is an AHHHHHHH feeling, life is good. They are dependent on the alcohol to make their life tolerable, manageable. When the alcohol is taken away or not available, there is a panicky, crazy feeling..an obsession over when it will return, when can the I take the next drink, get the next high. Now, insert your boyfriend into those places where I typed alcohol, does that fit your experience? Does this make sense? If not, maybe I did not do a good job of providing you with a comparison.

Getting a drink of your boyfriend is like taking a drink of alcohol for an alcoholic. Keep working your recovery and this will make sense to you...one day at a time.

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Its the one that I use every day. I am powerless over people, places and things so that is everything except me. I have power over my thoughts so when he comes into my mind I correct myself and remind myself its useless trying ot analyse, judge, fix, anything to do with him, so back to me. Then after a while it is easier to put others at the back of your mind rather than them being that first thought.

I say let go and let god whenever I find myself obsessing or worrying. Whatever happens to another person is for their good, I cant step in and take away anypart of another persons journey. I think this is also step 1.

Ive heard people say that anything outside their hula hoop or bubble is none of their business, they are powerless so back to me . What do I want to do, whatdo I like thinking about, what do I need to change or work on about me. Thats your business everythi g else is not and your powerless so let it go.x

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

If you're taking nerve pills at night, it doesn't sound to me as if your emotions are manageable, LU. It sounds to me like you are feeling the need to put them to sleep or calm them down? What might happen if you listen to yourself and what your HP might be trying to say to you when you feel fearful or anxious?

lookingup · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks for these replies and so true and yes I'm now feeling relaxed and calm now that my bf is back here with me and everything's good but now I know what happens when they decide to get back on it again whatever that be and whenever he decides to do it agin,it's up to me in how I will react or do when he does.im just be glad when I'm able to make decisions for myself when it does happen without a emotional meltdown and that I'll be able to live my life and smile and be happy all by myself without a so.

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

This isn't a textbook definition, only my definition: an addiction exists when we are trying to satisfy our need for HP with something else. That could be alcohol, drugs, sex, boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/SO, athletics, church activities, work, busy-ness, etc. Some addictions become a physical compulsion, and some are more mental, but they are all hard to shut down, and are impossible to shut down without HP's help.

When I became so addicted to my alcoholic wife that I let her get away with things like driving our son while I was pretty sure she is drunk, then I crossed a line into addiction - I wouldn't let anybody else do that, but I didn't want to lose her or confront her, so I let her get away with it.

Kenny

Mimi3 · Senior Member

Thank you for sharing Looking UP~

My husband was addicted to Alcohol & I was addicted to him, he was like a drug in my blood....

Thank you God for Al-anon, a sponsor and working these amazing steps:)

And by the grace of God, he has 11 years of sobriety & we just celebrated 31 years of marriage!!

Keep Coming Back, It Works If You Work It & YOU ARE WORTH IT!

(((HUGS & PRAYERS)))

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.