The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday for the first time I went to see my son. He looks real good but don't they always when they have to stay sober. I prayed to not walk in with any anger. I told him I love him and all that has happened good bad and indifferent while he's been out in the streets and in jail!!! He wants to get transitioned to a rehab. I pray this is it. But only god knows. For some reason I have been depressed.. I took today off to truly just sleep. I don't know how to feel about what all my son has said to me.
Sleep is what you may need to recharge. Dont underestimate the courage it took to visit your son and reinforce your love for him, unconditionally. Take care of yourself, Gaby.
Visiting our kids in jail is a loss for them and for us. I'd wonder if you were in denial if you didn't feel some sadness or a bit depressed. It took me days to get my mojo cooking after visiting my son. It does affect us adversely. We're human. Al-Anon program progress doesn't guarantee that we will ever get to the place where we don't feel those very real feelings when we suffer a loss. It does promise us that we don't have to stay stuck in it if we'll work our program. You are his Mom, Gaby, and a feeling human being. I agree with Paula's suggestion and her wisdom shared with you. (((Gaby)))
((((Gaby)))) when you get rested try thinking about this piece I was given when I use to suffer depression a lot. "Depression is anger turned inward" and then I was asked the question "What am I angry about"? My automatic response was going to be "Me?...nothing" and then it came with the slogan "Think" and "Slow down" and when I did it that way I came to understand more about my denial system which had pretty well shut down my mind and emotional systems completely. It really was...for me...ANGER turned inward...just not anger turned inward.
Give that a shot and do some reflection and inventory on it. just a suggestion. (((((hugs)))))
