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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Ah moving back home
Post Info TOPIC: Ah moving back home
Mirandac


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Ah moving back home
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my dry ah plans on moving back home on monday. I had told

him he could till the financials are all figured out( i plan on moving

to an apt in town when i am ready) Then i asked about 

his girlfriend i thought it was at the wanna be stage still, i guess

i was wrong. I said if you live here you are still a married man

no relationship with her Till you are divorced or Legally separated.

He stated he wants me to move out i said i will when i am ready to and

not before. he is hardly here when i am with his work,golf and aa. He heads 

out when i am coming home, in bed when i get home. I work crazy 

hours. He is being mean and i will be glad To be clear of him but we

need to work out the financials. He is already talking down the price of the 

property and do we really need a lawyer? What a snake! I hope i will have

the courage and fortitude to deal with this bully. I stated my boundaries 

and talked about his inappropriate behaviors With this woman.she is also 

in aa , working the steps and sponsors the young girls that come in.

so i figured she was holding out till he was clear. WRONG!!

my lawyer said ah could assign some assets to me also i could take out 

second mtg on  the remainder money due . That was a load off

my mind. I will not have to fight tooth and nail with him.  I never thought

my own husband would do any of these things to me. Wow! Lesson learned,

after 29 years  of marriage.

 



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grateful2be


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Is this the same woman who wrote us a short while back? Wow! You are standing strong and tall on your behalf! Good for you. I am so glad you went to an attorney and found out what you needed to know for your benefit. I do have one concern. How do you think it will be for you if he's back in the house with you? Will you be safe?

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Mirandac


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Yes i think so. I will talk to my lawyer i might even email her tonight.
He will try to make me uncomfortable but i am not leaving till i am ready.
I will get a court order if needed. I need the financials agreed upon and
Clear. There are quite a few assets but not much liquid assets or easily sold
Ones Without big losses.


I didn't mind him moving back. Its both of ours home. He is in and out 2-3
times a day when i am not here. It really has been a marriage of connivence
for 2-3 years with benefits. But i have been trying to repair the marriage to no avail.

I even gave him a key. We have a cat that goes in and out . Not safe prowling all
Day or night.I really didn't think he had started his intimate relationship yet. I have a feeling
He has been driving her and seeing her after aa meetings. Her male aa confidant moved
Away in december my husband probably stepped right up to the plate to offer his
Wisdom and shoulder. I feel ill inside thinking about it.

In a lot of ways i am ready for my new journey and my healing will really begin
When i get clear of him. I am very thankful for my alanon toolbox.i was not
Going to let him make me lose my serenity ever again.



-- Edited by Mirandac on Saturday 26th of July 2014 06:33:50 PM

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grateful2be


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Good. I'm glad you don't feel unsafe. You sound stronger in yourself every time you post.

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Jen61


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You sound very strong. That is so good!!

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PP


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I agree, you do sound stronger.  We are here, you are not alone.



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Paula
Mirandac


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My heart and soul are broken with all this stuff from him. We had a strong 18 years of
Marriage. I always had his back, took care of everything while he was gone. He worked
5 days then off for two days. We did alot of things together when he was home. He seemed
To love and honor me but he was a dry a in many many ways. Then he came home for good
11 years ago and then what a jerk. He was a dry drunk not like having to deal with
People and their humanness. He was miserable and there was not one thing i could do for
Him. I had a good fun filled life with him and friends till then. He started really acting out, high risk investments,
Changing boats,he wanted me to go back to work and became very abusive till i got a job,
Then came facebook and all that attention from people he knew, then finally he started aa
and then he became even worse. The emotional and Verbal abuse was terrible, then things
calmed down to a point. He was still being abusive on occassions. Then i got the big shock
i want a divorce, no i do not want to work on the marriage,i am so very unhappy and i
Have a women friend i want to have a closer relationship with.

Sorry for the rant i will become sane as soon as we divorce. He is in a big rush because
Of his new girlfriend and him wanting to spend time together openly.


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