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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Clean street with mother
Post Info TOPIC: Clean street with mother
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

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Clean street with mother
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I have been keeping my side of the street clean with my mother,

putting boundaries in place. When i told her about my ah wanting a divorce

i told her i was going to take care of me first. Not either of my sisters 

or my mother(they all struggle with addictions/and or disfunction's)

She said i would like you to come visit i said no i need to take care of 

me Right now. Why is it so much easier to work our tools with others

but so much harder with our spouse?

 

my mother is highly dysfunctional and narcisstic and it has been a lifelong

fight with her to let go of her children. she had attended alanon for 

20 years but didnt seem to learn much.i have been using my husband as a barrier

between us for years, so this is a little frightening. She would like me to move closer

and be around to take care or her When she needs it. She is 81.

i said i have a 2 jobs. I will continue to be firm with her. 



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blessed


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Givers hate to see others in need; but in our situations with addicts we have to do different. I am so glad that you are doing what has to be done, setting healthy boundaries, and keeping your side of the street clean. Good for you. 

I learned this a long time ago, as I was a "yes" person and had to learn to say, "No" with no furhter explanation or guilt. Once you get used to it, it is not hard & you find serenity. And it is easier than the stress of taking on more than I can handle in any given day, and then feeling overwhelmed and being mad at those I agreed to help for taking up my time. 

 

 



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Do the next right thing~

I've never regretted taking the high road. ~
grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

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Taking care of you is the first order of business that I see you choosing! Good. There can be no healthy helping when we ourselves are in great need of self-nurture, self-care, self-loving our way through the endurance contest we've been experiencing. You are being so good to yourself in saying no to what you believe will be just one more opportunity to give, give, give to another. Using that energy to give, give, give to yourself for now - perfect!

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Breakingfree


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Sounds like a good recovery and boundaries set! Sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1662
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Thank you all for your support and responses.


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