The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I decided a few weeks ago that I would not discuss my AH at work anymore. This morning a coworker bluntly asked me if he and I were getting back together or not. I said "I'm sorry. I can't talk about him at work anymore, it's too distracting. I appreciate your concern. Thanks for asking." I have had those lines rehearsed for a long time. I am happy to say I used Al Anon at work to protect myself. I am trying to also gossip much less about other people too.
Great idea. I had to make a conscious decision and effort to not talk about A to people anymore too. When I am asked questions about him I reply with "I don't know, you'd have to ask him yourself" or something like that. I feel a lot better about it; there are so many more interesting and positive things to talk about!!!
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thanks everyone. It is challenging to deal with people at work because he used to work there too. Ugh. I am too tired of trying to decide who to talk to and who not to, so I have just stopped talking to anyone about him. I am also getting better with thinking I can read their minds and know what they are thinking about me and my situation. I have accepted that I am powerless over reading minds. :)
Newlife girl...good work..keep up the practice. There is also that statement at the ending of our meetings that say, "...let there be no gossip or criticism of one another..." Knowing this I got what you were practicing. (((((hugs)))))
What a stress reliever you have chosen for yourself, NLG. Responding to other people's curiosity by not responding to other people's curiosity is choosing not to throw either one of you under the bus. That's class, sister.
I too had to stop and it was not easy. I wanted to vent to my co-worker all the time. A blow by blow what happen or is happening. I promised myself I would only vent here if need be but work and meetings it would be about me if anything said.
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
