Keep my mouth shut in my relationship, because there were too many issues and behaviours that affected me, being part of a couple that made a pact to love one another in sickness and in health well I tried very hard too, I just missed the part where mutual was mentioned and there was very little of that.

So I had to go and fetch some clothes today from my home, I was chewed up about going, wondered if I would feel sad and cave in, i bit the bullet though and went, it didn't really faze me, I think my heart left a while ago, my son was in bed I knocked on his door and said hi, he was tired though just off a night shift so I said you ok? he said yes, so I said good I will catch you later then, my friend is in hostpital so I am home alone another biggie for me, but I am doing ok, later this afternoon I noticed a missed call from my son, so I phoned him, I said are you ok? he said yes mum sorry I didn't say much this morning I was tired, aww , this is progress believe me, I could not live with the mind games, and now that I am not having too I feel so much better, I had so much fear about leaving and what I imagined I would lose, people are saying to me let hubby stew, but I am past that, this is really only all about me and what I needed to do for me, I am having a gap year anyway, I married young before I ever really knew who i was, I am still anxious and fearful but I am excited how courage that says it's prayers is working out for my family, I am walking the walk whoop whoop, living in the moment little by little, wow!

love

katy

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