The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well here I sit. Wondering where my alcoholic is drinking. He just texted and I didn't answer because I'm trying to stay detached. He texted again "F ....ing answer me. I replied and then asked the question "Where are you?" Of course I didn't really want to know. Now I do and I can't stop shaking.
Now what do I do? I went to a meeting. I've been reading my book Al-Anon Works, writing on this forum. I can't stand this.
I have been in this place so many times.
Don't engage. Why do you want to know where he is? What can you do now to feel better? What can you do for yourself now?
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Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step.
We use to console abused wives to seek shelter when their abuser use to talk to them like that. I would tell the guys I worked with in cases that if I heard they spoke to their victim like that I would have them locked up...most of them stopped and many are glad they did. In alternatives to violence for women the "F" word is a threat. He is altered and not anyone who is safe for you. Forget waiting for him to change...if he has no reason to and no motivation to and is willing without restraint to abuse you even when he is not with you...start your own program. Hope the fear and abuse stops with your choice for it. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
Jerry when I hear you talk about how verbal abuse is really threatening I think wow...it is more serious than I ever realized. My AH thinks the F word is just a word. Nothing more than that. He thinks I am self righteous for thinking certain words are bad or threatening. Thank you for pointing out that verbal abuse is serious.
Jerry thank you for pointing out that the F word is verbal abuse. That's how it starts I know because he was so violent in his former alcoholic fugue. I guess I'm still in shock over his desire to drink after 30 years of sobriety. Thank you for reminding me.
