Can't live on life's terms - Al-Anon Family Group

Wisdom67 · Senior Member

Can't live on life's terms

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Wisdom I do understand Rest, come here and read, know you are not alone.

I have felt that way as well. Then my sponsor indicated that without acceptance of life on life's terms I was lost and my world would not be sustained. That I could accept " life on life's terms " one day at a time ,the way an alcoholic stops drinking That helped tremendously. Try to accept life one day at a time. use all your tools each day , pray, live one day at a time, taking care of you and attending meetings, working the Steps .

Use the "Just for Today "Bookmark each morning that also gave me great direction as I began to turn my life around and it works
You are not alone.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I, too, know these feelings. This too shall pass. (((Wisdom)))

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers for you and your family, Wisdom. I've experienced those dark days, too, and have learned to trust that they are part of the process of grieving and growing. Depression is only one step away from acceptance or in Al-Anon speak learning to live on life's terms.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 8th of July 2014 10:59:29 PM

Katy · ~*Service Worker*~

Yes it is hard isn't? and we all have these days, and they do pass, your not alone in your thoughts.

love

Katy

x

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

my doctor once told me life is so hard, no one gets out alive...

I know things have got you down. A very hard place to be. My now doc told me that I think about offing myself just becuz that is how my mind works.

What I realized dear was I do not want to die, I just do not want things to go on like they are at that time. So I think of my options. Also think how I have gotten out of that pit before. For me i would not ever want to hurt hp like that. He takes such good care of me and loves me, how could I disappoint him like that?

We sure know that horrible feeling. I know you feel alone, you need someone there. Do you have anyone you can call? You should not be alone. Please hang on. If you need a time out take one. Our hearts can get so heavy. Think about how it is ok to stop, just stop and rest. I don't know if you still work. call in sick. Or look into a leave.

Please tell us what you need. Is there something I can do for you? When i first came here, someone had taken their life. It was so horrible. We felt so guilty, we felt we did not make it clear we are here to help. Please, you are sick, its nothing to feel guilty about.

There are hotlines for us to call too. People who really care volunteer to help. Once my doctor, years ago put me in the hospital overnight i was so down. It was when my denial went away and I realized my husband was brain damaged.

Do you need to talk? Myself I don't want to when I get that down. Please please let us know what you need!sincerely!!!

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

This is for you dear - cloudy with showers but some sunshine creeping through

blessed · Senior Member

I have been depressed to the point of not wanting to get out of bed. I am sure most here have, at least once.

Baby steps. Thinking of too big a task is overwhelming. Just do one small thing. Wash your face, brush you teeth. Okay, that's two. :) But, just do one small thing for you.

Walk outside and just stand there. Breath. Close you eyes.

Little by little, step by baby step you can beat this thing. Think of depression as something that is standing in front of you blocking your way, and say, "get out of my way." We are powerless over alcohol, but our HP is not, and we can be happy if we choose to be.

Okay, go do one thing. :)

Have a happy moment,

T~

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

If you have serious depression (to the point of needing medication), and then you stop taking it, a recurrence of depression is likely. In my many attempts to go off my meds, I would often have a period of being sort of manicky and happy and I would make lots of changes in life....then depression would hit hard and I would have to go back on those meds. Eventually, I learned to just take my medicine and not go off it. The medicine also includes 12 step groups, participation, and working with my sponsor. I need it all. This is just my experience with learning good self care. Not sure if this is your story or not.

Also, I believe you may be experiencing some growing pains. At first, separating and divorcing may be liberating and a boost and then it gets depressing... In the end, you are learning to take care of you and just you. It will always come back to that. When you learn to take care of you, you will be better off for everyone else. Take care of yourself Wisdom...and that means do the basics....See the doctor if you need to and don't worry about the costs....or worry about that later....Eat, rest, pray, ask for help and make a support network of friends. Don't just rely on 1 person because that is making them into your higher power and it's codependent. Ideally, a whole circle of alanon/church/or other neighborhood friends would help lift you up.

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh Blessed, I really like that description of depression as something that is just blocking our way - Have you seen The Rocky Horror Show? If not, then try googling the Time Warp song from it, the chorus goes like this.

Narrator) It's just a jump to the left.

(Guests) And then a step to the right.

(Narrator) With your hand on your hips.

(Guests) You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust.
They really drive you insane.
Let's do the Time Warp again.
Let's do the Time Warp again.

So Blessed's description had me thinking of depression getting in the way. You and I are jumping to the left, stepping to the right and by the time we've brought our knees in tight, there we are, standing in the doorway ready to give the blues our best.. I think I'm even giggling!! Thank you Blessed, it might be my warped mind, but doing the Time Warp again helped me. ((((Hugs)))) Wisdom - I hope that you don't think me too silly

-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 9th of July 2014 07:26:11 AM

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.