I Don't Want to Go Back - Al-Anon Family Group

tiredtonite · Veteran Member

I Don't Want to Go Back

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

TT,
It is always hard to return after vacation. Positive thoughts and Energy on the way.

I too read books from bookstores:) and do understand your work place-- Lived it the last 5 years of my career.

ODAT, focused on yourself and HP, a path will open.

Prayers

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Sounds like a whole lot of fear that's got you by the hair, TT. I guess what I'd want to know for myself is what it is that I fear most? I'd also want to ask myself why I am rejecting myself as I am? What are my motives for hiding my paper book (I can't stand reading them on-line or even on-line articles so I'm with you on that one), or saying something that isn't true for me like watching TV shows I've never even seen? Why am I seeing myself as less than others who are younger than me? Then, I'd place myself into my HP's care, ask for knowledge of my HP's will and trust I will be given what I need to do for me that is self-encouraging and self-caring. You are absolutely perfect as you are, reading what you read, watching what you watch and being the age (whatever that is) that you are. Don't let fear get the best of you. If its awful, then you can give two weeks notice and leave. Lots of prayers and belief in you, TT.

-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 6th of July 2014 10:13:12 PM

-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 6th of July 2014 10:18:25 PM

Kelly123 · Veteran Member

I understand how you feel. It is very simple though. In every job I've ever had , the most important things were to 1. be positive , 2. show up on time looking professional and prepared. Act like you want to be there and that you are super confident and self assured (even if you would rather be anywhere but there just act as if for now at least)

When I say be positive just don't let anything negative slip out of your lips. Be positive about everything including the company. If someone says something negative, don't say anything just pretend like you didn't hear it. Be prepared, and have a clip board with a pen or two. Clean out your purse so you're not digging around in there for a pen for 5 minutes. A clean organized purse or handbag is important. Turn your phone on silent (don't be that person!!)

Just have your nails painted a basic light colour, wear all black if you have no fashion imagination and make sure your clothes are clean. Smile and sit up straight, be polite.

Be on time (have your keys and shoes ready at the door so you're not fumbling around tomorrow morning.. in fact set your clothes out tonight). The day will fly by and you will do well. Good luck tomorrow! :)!!

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Tired)))) this reminds me of the criteria for calling my sponsor and also making a searching and fearless inventory so that I get to know honestly what it is all about rather than just pressing on with luck. It is so important for me to know the answers to the question "What the hell is going on with ....me" cause where ever I go there I am. I heard the suggestion "Act as if" and that reminded me of how important it was for me to do that cause often times I injected negative into my unknown and mostly that was fear. Acting as if sometimes allows me to do the work now and let the feelings catch up later especially when I get caught up in unjustified fear. I am afraid just because...

Inventory is a great tool...Keep coming back. ((((hugs)))) smile

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

tt what in the world is making you care about what they think of you,what you wear, what you read? Do those things make you a better worker at your position? no.

What does your hp love about you? What do you love about you? What is wrong about being a square peg?

I am actually surprised by this share. I am soooo glad you shared it though for sure.

What do you usually wear? What do you like and feel comfy in? What do you watch on tv? I would have said well my kids and I don't have tv's. We watch documentaries and movies online. Nothing wrong with that. I don't like most sitcoms at all myself.

So they have electronic bs.So you read books. ???what??? Hey I took my pig to my classroom, dentist and docs. I wear what I feel comfy in. denim skirt, nice comfy top, comfy cool shoes. boots and dresses who cares?

I keep it simple too a nice skirt with a white shirt and jacket. or blazer....I don't get the runway thing. don't want to.

who are you tt? what do you want to do? You are a very special person and you know it. You always work hard at what you do. I have seen it so many years. You are bright and intelligent and have a huge heart. It is no ones business to pick at your personal you. If they do shame on them. Let them be all foo foo and you be real like you are!

I had to do this without my mother too sweet one. YOU can do this and be true to you!! to thine own self be true you know.

It will be ok as long as you are you on your own foundation. stay where you are comfortable, don't play games. there is the what makes you ask thing you know.

Who cares if they like or accept you, what is more important is do you like them? Most important is you like you!!!1

go gettem tt love you! debilyn

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

I understand what your saying I think, its moving from being the hip young thing to a different position within a company that values youth. I can relate to this. There are people who are on their phones at lunchtime rather than engaging in conversation with others, some people are outraged by this. I also love a paper book because you can read it In the bath and if it falls in it doesnt matter too much, its not hundreds of pounds worth of damage. You should see some of my books because of this,lol. I hope you can enjoy your holiday, you could use your steps on it, you are powerless over it all anyway, having your own plan sounds like a way to regain your serenity. Detach with love is a good one for me.x

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

I remember being that young person who wanted to fit in with the work crowd. I've worked in an environment where having the right 'uniform' seemed important, especially the expensive handbag. After being there for six months I found myself outside the shop where most of the expensive handbags came from and when I looked at the bag in the window I just couldn't do it, to me, to me those bags just looked ugly and old-fashioned. I never did get the bag and it made no difference to whether or not I was accepted by others.

I hope that your day goes better for you than you imagine and that you find some good surprises as well.

You made me smile when you mentioned 'the lunch partner of choice', so true all over the world! So many people afraid to engage, presumably because they are afraid of rejection.

As for books - I'm with you on that one, nothing beats turning a page and I love the way that books mould into your hands as you read further and further into the story, or the softly used feeling of a borrowed book. I've got all of the electronic accessories but my choice is paper and pen every time!

blessed · Senior Member

A former boss of mine used to take us through this ritual when we were concerned with something.

Name the concern/fear.

So, what if that happens? Answer

Then what? Answer

After about ten rounds of this, sometimes it ended in death, it was all just silly, and we usually had a half smirk, or laugh, then go back to work.

I guess the phrase, "Face your fear" applies here. Talk it out, think it through. Is it justified?

One Day At A Time.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Good that you brought it all out here in the light....let us know how it goes today. (((hugs)))

likemyheart · ~*Service Worker*~

My thinking is, maybe if you settled yourself into a corner with a good book during lunch, someone else might see it and think, now there's a courageous person, and want to join you! My preferred lunch partner when alone is just eating and enjoying my lunch, looking around me, watching out a window, or eating outside; then taking a walk and looking at the world, even if its just down the halls because the weather is uncooperative - looking at the artwork or architecture.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

AAlllll sooooo. Believe me there are others there like you. you will be a breath of fresh air, plus remember how worry is a no no? ONE day at a time and all. plusssss nothing is as bad as we worry it is. Just isn't.

I have seen you be strong about working at the job you want.Really if you did well at what you were doing, and you find they are asking too much, are you union btw, take someone with you to talk to your boss or bosses and be honest.I did this this and that. Now added is this and this. How would YOU like me to structure my time? I am finding I was getting work done well before,now more is added and I just want to do a good job.

hope you are doing ok in other things! hugs, debilyn

tiredtonite · Veteran Member

I just want to thank all of you for all of your wisdom and loving support. Aside from the superficial stuff which seems very important now that my fears have quieted, the job is rolling out the way I feared. Additionally, those of us in these roles have been told we are not allowed to do any other work for our teams that exactly what is stipulated in the job description. The reporting up process is not to the team I would be working for but to someone who would be holding this same position as I've accepted. She had a meeting with me yesterday and I've learned she told me she has no skills concerning the job we have accepted and has to have training. She told me what she is currently doing in the job she has which has been eliminated by the company and that she is continuing to do that while they look for someone to replace her with pretty much the same skill set but who they will hire under a different title. As you can see this is filled drama and ongoing day to day uncertainty. We are all being pushed around like pieces on a board game with no regard to how it affects a person. One of my coworkers who was out on vacation last week who is in one of these jobs told she too was having nightmares about it while on vacation. We are basically to do what we're told without question. If we have a free moment, they will fill it with more mundane tasks. Do not by any means go looking for creative work from your team, we will find something for you to do ourselves. So we've been separated out from the individual teams and the focus of work of each particular team and our hands are tied. I am hoping the management of the team I am going to will have a say in this. I know the plans they have for me are far more creative than what I am about to be forced to accept. I am still working on plan b. My soon to be former boss is taking me to lunch this week. She told me she will always be my friend. I don't know if that's true. There is a massive amount of work to be done in the old department now that the person they hoped would accept the job surprised them and left and from my call with this person to whom I will be reporting, it's alreay been elluded that we will be doing that too.

I know my feelings have been coming out sideways from stress. I'm not one to really care about such superficial things as if the other girls accept me. I went to my first day at this new job in a clothes that I am comfortable in and love and I wore a pin of late mom's and used one of her handbags. I felt her close to me all day.

I phoned my sponsor yesterday and discussed this with her. She was supportive as always. I'll update as I know more. Thank you again for the unconditional love and your es&h ((hugs)) TT

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks for the update TT. It is obvious that your Serenity, Courage Wisdom are serving you well. Stay focused on yourself and know that HP is there with you. That helped me tremendously . The other saying that I repeated often is "If you are walking through hell, just keep walking. The 12 Steps will take you safely out ".

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Sounds like one of those square pegs into round holes kinds of things? Fortunately, this too will pass.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I love that you wore clothes that were comfortable and meaningful. Take care, TT.

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