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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Unusual Day
Post Info TOPIC: Unusual Day
blessed


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Unusual Day
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Today, i was cleaning garge and took a few things down to the workshop. While I am in there my son (17) says, "Hey mom, wanna see something cool?"
I look over and he jumps up and pulls a liquor bottle in a wrapper from the rafters in the celing, and threw it on the workbench.

But, this is the man that has been sober for 3 or 4 months. lol! Of course as someone on here said, "How do you know if an A is lying? They are talking." 

My husband came in the garage and starting telling me how I should be doing the garage (that he hasn't cleaned in months). I did not ask for his help and I did not respond, just kept going. He did put back up a shelf that fell down months ago and at the time said, "I ain't putting that up." He even painted the wall before rehanging it. He comes to the garage after I moved his car out to be sure I am not going through his car, where he keeps liquor. He also has a padlock on his briefcase. I don't search out bottles. My son finds them or I have found them while cleaning, etc.

But, this afternoon he went to a movie with us and dinner and was civilized. He hasn't talked to me in a month, at least, and won't even be in the same room as me.

Then this evening my son was looking at the hotel I booked for our beach trip this week, and discovered it had a fishing pier so he is psyched. My AH said, "So, we can go to the beach and pool and he can fish." So he's going? hmmmm. He has not gone on vacation with us in 2 years, but takes his own 10-day vacations to his mommy & brother's house (2-3x a year) - his enablers. I expected he would sit this one out as well. There's still time. He loves to play his games and cancel 5 mins. before we pull out of the drive just to keep things exciting. Worse than a woman on PMS. :)

But, for a few hours, there was a normal human being. It could last a day, or a few hours. You never know so I don't react to these little spurts anymore than I react to his drinking. 

Oh, I totally forgot this. He NEVER helps me bring in groceries, or anything. I came home from the grocery store, and he actually came out before I was done, and carried in a few bags. Who are you and what did you do with my husband? :)  Just kidding. Don't dog me. :)

So, AlAnon is helping me SHUT UP both by mouth, and with body language, and apprently he is seeing that he can't control me, and get me to fight w/ him so he can blame me, etc. etc. etc. I have gotten off that merry go round & am just living my life. Thank you AlAnoners. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 



-- Edited by blessed on Saturday 5th of July 2014 09:16:46 PM

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Do the next right thing~

I've never regretted taking the high road. ~
Mimi3


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What a wonderful share!!!

Good for you, It truly works if we work it!!!

(((HUGS)))



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Cindy 
Charlie B67


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Good for you!


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Lost and lonely
Jen61


~*Service Worker*~

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Good job!

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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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This actually is how the process goes when I pay attention to my own recovery and not fixate on the others.  With out my direction and control "we" get it done.  Awesome ESH.   ((((HUGS)))) smile



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slowlearner


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Good for you. Keep strong.

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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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blessed my first thought is, he is being extra nice in case you found a bottle he has hidden in the garage. seen it all before. Manipulation comes in such insidious ways.

My ah told me unless you follow him to the bathroom and do his care or wherever else, you have no idea if one is using. another reason we don't give it any energy. Just not our job.

Your thoughts are on a good path that is for sure. As you are seeing now, the A disease is never a pattern. Manipulation is usually not seen until someone here shows you. After awhile you will see it.

My AH used to get all giddy when he knew he would be getting some money or drugs. Or both. of course I could tell what he was happy about. once mine let me off at the store. I saw a friend of his and said oh ah is out in the truck. he went out, no truck. so he had tried to sneak off to buy booze. he tells me he went to get a part for his van. yea right.

Al anon taught me to see the whites of their lies. and to chalk it up to the disease and say oh welll, whateeeeevah.

hugs



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