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My STBEXAH bought my daughter concert tickets for her birthday. I happy for my daughter to be able to see her favorite singer, but I have a couple issues. First the concert is out of state, she will have to travel 1200 miles to go to the concert. Secondly, the concert is during my week with her. My STBEXAH did not contact me to get my consent to take her out of state or to take my time with her. I'm livid over the fact that he thinks he can just take her when he wants and doesn't care that it is my time with her. I was under the impression that that he couldn't take her out of state without my consent. I'm very irritated right now as I don't want to punish my daughter for her dad's ignorance, but at the same time don't I deserve the respect of at least being asked if he could switch weeks with me so he can take her to the concert and notifying me that he planned on taking her to another state of the concert. Not sure what the legalities are here, but it sure doesn't seem right that he can just take her when he wants and take her out of state without notifying me. He said he can do it because we do not have a parenting plan yet, however, we have a verbal agreement on a visitation schedule we have been following for months now. Does anyone have any insight on this situation?
How old is your daughter? And if it isn't a legally binding contract that has been drawn up and witnessed by a disinterested third party, I don't know if you have any legal standing on visitation.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 2nd of July 2014 03:29:21 PM
With what grateful said I would add to let her go. I'm sure it's when they ( singer ) is in town first. He was able to obtain them (tickets ) , your daughter really wants to go, husband is taking care of everything so maybe talking about trading visitation weeks because of the concert. Yeah he didn't do it the right way but don't let that hurt your daughter or you anymore.
Talk to X for the next time this happens ( respect ) but let go let God or your going to continue to be livid. If he doesn't agree set your boundary and let him know.
Just my take
((( hugs )))
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She is 16. Thanks for the advice. I'm going to let her go because it isn't her that deserves to be hurt by her dad's actions. I will make a boundary that this is not to happen again or there will be consequences. Thank you for responding. I went to an Alanon meeting at lunch and it was on patience, this is something I need to do for myself. I need to balance patience with detachment and boundaries. Lots of working on myself in the future.
First off OMGOSH .. blessed I have a motorcycle story as well ugh .. and a miss sent text .. lol.
Second .. as far as this goes .. be careful about setting precedence as it can come back and bite you badly. If you have a parenting agreement and he is violating it .. well the courts are going to ask why was it ok on XYZ and not now. I would at least document the incident facts as far as this happened.
My experience with my STBAX is he rarely follows through on big promises like this .. at this point he hasn't called the kids and it's his weekend with them .. well it's a holiday weekend .. this after promises of going out of town, then there was a promised trip to the park this week for me it is better to stick to the parenting agreement. He just will make up the rules as he goes.
He tried to tell me we aren't following the parenting agreement and I reminded him if he had questions discuss it with his atty because we ARE following the agreement .. he's the parent .. he needs to follow through on HIS visitation .. that's NOT my responsibility or the kids.
My STBAX isn't a trust worthy person and he's an A .. I can trust that I would be getting a phone call. Maybe in a few years .. definitely not now.
Good luck .. I'm sure my situation is different as it took forever to get him to sign the parenting agreement and he is so checked out that he continues to miss visitation dates.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
