The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As a Christain, I struggled with AlAnon's HP as my HP is the God of heaven and earth, Creator. Can I work the program with God as my HP? Will I be allowed to? Does the program contradict the Word of God?
Well, I have prayed and searched the Scriptures and there is a little fuzzy in the "ME" aspect, as Christianity is about others before self. But, then I look at what the self in AlAnon is speaking of and it is not a selfish ME, but getting me healthy so I can serve those around me. At least that I how I am choosing to interpret it. :) I am told to love my neighbor as myself. My neighbor is everybody; the saved and unsaved alike.
In church this morning, during "greet your neighbor time" I saw two ladies that are in my AlAnon group. I had never noticed them before (we have a large church). I was pleasantly surprised.
God allows us the free-will to choose Him or reject him and we all have the free-will to worship whatever god we choose.
So, I came to the conclusion that there is not a conflict. I can still have my God (I wouldn't give Him up, but just for sake of conversation). And I can accept that others have not made that decision yet & are still seeking. I was once seeking as well.
I have learned so much in a very short period of time, and made positive changes, and that can't be bad. I know some things sound good, but are not biblical. I wanted to be sure this was not one of them. So far, I don't see that it is. So, I will be working the steps, attending meetings, learning more about this disease, etc. etc. etc.
-- Edited by blessed on Sunday 29th of June 2014 12:09:12 PM
-- Edited by blessed on Sunday 29th of June 2014 12:09:43 PM
OMGOSH .. Blessed .. I'm a practicing Christian .. of the Lutheran faith .. of course God can be whomever you need your higher power to be .. LOL.
One of the books I really like is by an Author by the name of Emmett Fox .. it's called Sermon on the Mound. Very honestly when AA came to be there was a big faith leading into God as the HP. Now that has changed over time .. AA Alanon are based upon Christian beliefs and Sermon on the Mound is an AA book of sorts there is a tremendous amount of wisdom in it. It is more Christian faith based or at least that is how I have taken it. It's an OLD book too.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I think its more about motives. I mean putting others before yourself can have ill will attached to it, people may feel they have to for their church or religion or to make themselves look and feel better, rather than want to for a deeper reason than that, doing for others may lead to self rigntousness, arrogance and maybe even resentment. To me alanon is that deeper level, its about doing for others in a quiet way, not getting found out or telling, doing for others because your grateful for what you have. Ive never really liked organised religion, well the idea of mass belief systems has always put me off, although I love some of the ideas and philosophies in all of them, alanon is a bit of buddhism, hindu, the whole lot really which is why everyone can feel they belong. My higher power is mine and only mine, for me its a feeling really.
I, too, am a Christian and have been in a faith community since birth. Although my HP is changeless to me, my understanding of that HP has evolved throughout the years. Al-Anon helps me to change the misperceptions I have had that get in the way of minding my own business and staying out of God's and other people's business. It also helps me live a life of integrity and by that I mean doing what I say I'm going to do and not saying one thing and doing another as I learned I did do in Al-Anon. When I could admit I was very unhappy and very unsure of myself when living in an abusive marriage that was supposedly what I had to live in because I said "I do" in a church, my understandings of both HP and Scripture also changed. If they hadn't, I would be dead and I'd be dead because I clung to an understanding of my HP and some misperceptions that were not life giving but death dealing to me.
I agree with elcee that what we do is more about motives than it is about what we do with or for others. If I share my experience, strength and hope with another, letting go of the results, then to me I am helping to serve in some way that is in line with giving to give and not giving to get. If I run around giving all the time and being angry because nobody is giving back or not doing what I think they should do or treating me like I think they should treat me, then I'm not really serving in love. My motive is to get and not give. Al-Anon among other things has helped me look deeper at my motives and in doing that, I may do the same things but for different reasons and with no expectation of return from the other.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 29th of June 2014 05:44:54 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 29th of June 2014 05:46:40 PM
I am a practicing Catholic and have no problem fitting all the concepts and principles of alanon's philosophy into my religion.
We are not asked to define our HP but to have one, and trust that Higher Power with complete faith. I know many in program who do just that, without any adherence to a formal religion
I have always noted in the scripture "love thy neighbor as thyself" that nobody ever talks about loving thyself, only about the loving others part. Note in the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan goes above and beyond in leaving money with the innkeeper in case the victim needs anything. But he also leaves and goes on about his business once everything is taken care of. He doesn't stay for weeks, give up the money he would have made by selling goods, etc. This is because he loves himself as well. We need to love ourselves to be able to love others.
if you read the book "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie, one of the first examples she uses is a typical church lady. her marriage and family are self-destructing, but all she can see is the next bake sale she has to be in charge of because nobody else can do it correctly, and how many other things at church really need her to be involved in them. I found this example poignant because I have known a number of women in church who do this. And yes, it really becomes about motives at that point.
I agree with you, if we don't keep ourselves healthy (love ourselves) , we can't help anybody else. Nobody else is going to keep us healthy, so that is a primary responsibility for us. We can then go on and help to care for others who can't care for themselves. Note that the first 11 steps in Al Anon and AA are all about us, then about service to others. That is so we are healthy before we give service.
Kenny! I never thought about the first 11 steps being about us and the last about giving service. Woo Hoo! Loved that perspective. I'm adding it to my memory bank.
