The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I need some advice from those of you who have experience extreme anger, resentment, paranoia from their addict. My AS works for our family business (or used to, he walked out yesterday) and he has become even more angry, resentful and paranoid since coming out of rehab in Dec. I have never believed he stayed clean since coming out. the only good thing that I feel happened as a result of his rehab is I found al-anon. I have diligently tried to pit all my new al-anon knowledge to work, but I admit I am a work I progress. I truly am trying to stay in my hula hoop on my side of the street! But somehow his issues keep causing me incredible anxiety. I need tips on how to handle these issues a without him pulling me into his mess!
I so value the advise I get on this page ... I look forward to what any of you say!
Hi, Sally: Did he go into rehab because he wanted to do it and asked to do it on his own? Or did he go to rehab because he was given an offer he couldn't refuse at the time? If he went to rehab because he really didn't want to do but thought he had to do it for whatever reason he believed was important to him at the time not to lose, he could feel manipulated and angry about that and fearful that everybody is against him? If he went on his own, could be he wants a drink. Regardless of his motives for his behaviors, good for you for staying in Al-Anon and putting your new knowledge to work. I feel anxious, too, when my son seems to be throwing everything away AGAIN but thanks to Al-Anon, it is short lived. Our loved ones will do what they do and as Moms, it is hard to watch and hard to know the next right thing to do when yet another storm brews that sometimes seem worse than before. The same steps and slogans apply no matter how hard the storm. Letting my loved ones think, feel and behave the way they do without interference and doing what I can to help the way I think, feel, and behave is about the best I can do.
As much as I experienced all the things you described nothing ever changed until I changed. I had to let go and let go every single day.....even today as my son sits in prison.
If I don't practice, practice, practice I will fall back to my old ways. Ways I don't ever want to experience again. I have to continue to tell myself those are his issues not mine and I don't want to be pulled in no matter what. My son is a adult ...he has to handle it.
You do have choices not be pulled in. Hard choices sometimes but necessary for you.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
