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Daughter and kids are in for a visit,we all decided to take a week in destin Fla.beautiful place,I don't see my a bf but very little he says he is working all the time so he seldom calls and hardly ever answer my calls.i don't understand him anymore I don't know what's going on with him he went from loveing me and didnt want to be away from me to very seldom contact,he still got clothes at my house I don't even know where he is liveing when I ask him he says he is liveing here and there.and won't invite me to come to where he is staying or won't let me come there a bf says I'm not trusted to come there or I'm not welcome.very weird acting makes me want to throw his clothes out to the roadside when I get back home....and I still love him!!! Right now I hate him he makes me hate him I don't know...thanks for listening I have nobody to talk to here. Need more esh plz ty,,,,,,lookingup
I've asked him if he would rather me to not call cause he don't answer half the time he says no that he wants me to call.he stopped saying I love you he is acting weird I don't know if it's drugs or drugs and another woman and he don't want to drop me completely n case it don't work out for him he will have me to fall back on,I'm sick of feeling used I don't know if that's his case but I'm sure wished I knew what to say to him ,esh,esh,esh plzzzz
Hi looking up, it's nice to hear that you're on vacation with your precious daughter and GrandChildren,and are in such a beautiful spot. I'm sorry that you're being troubled by the absence of your boyfriend but would like to suggest that while you are vacationing that you, keep the focus on yourself, enjoy the Company of the family you're with and let go of the worrying about him until you return home. It is important that you reached out and shared your concern and pain because that's how we can release it.
Please stay in the moment in the day, keep the focus on yourself, reciite the serenity prayer often and enjoy the precious time that you have with your family
If you need to join the online meetings here or the chat room. That support helps also
Drug dealers usually don't want to be pinned down. He was dealing meth out of your house right? Sometimes absence makes us forget. You had him leave for a reason. Severance reasons. What about a guy with a real job, non addict who has similar values to you? Life is too short to waste it wishing an addict drug dealer that shows no sign of change to become prince charming. Are you sure you love him or the idea of having the partner you wanted him to be? Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like a queen and a more suitable, more stand up guy will reveal himself and, even if not, we'll then you'll be having fun treating yourself like a queen.
ESH from a proud queen... lol
-- Edited by pinkchip on Monday 23rd of June 2014 10:29:21 PM
Lookinup, its so sad that while you are on holiday with your daughter and grandchildren, people who care, you are thinking about this guy, who sounds like the worst bf in the whole world. I can identify with the obsession, I was addicted to an alcoholic and this stopped me living in the moment, appreciating the people who are right in front of my nose, who needed me and wanted to be with me, who loved me.
This guy looking up, hes not even pretending to respect you or love you anymore. Hes not answering your calls, your not welcome to his house!!!! what the hell!!!! he is telling you loud and clear that he wants to keep you there in case but hes moved on. No way, dont take this crap, You dont deserve this, why do you think you do? Im not sure you are aware of the philosophy here at alanon, there are steps you can take to change to end the obsession. When you choose to until then he is going to keep treating you this way and unless you deal with your self esteem issues your going to let him.x
I understand that you are vacationing with your family and see some beauty where you are now. I also understand that you are a woman who made a decision to give yourself the best in life and to move out of the harm that can and has come to you at the hands of a disease that doesn't care about anything but continuing its destructive cycle. All that goes on in the head of an addict is how to get their next fix in any way they can get it. Once we are no longer helping the disease to continue in its effort to get its next fix in terms of money, time, or the actual drug, the disease moves on its host to where it can get its next fix. You did well by yourself in moving away from the disease and its unrelenting desire for its next fix or to finance its next fix. Good for you. Keep focusing on yourself and the best way to get your real needs and wants met by you.
