Feeling down - Al-Anon Family Group

lucymae · Member

Feeling down

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I am sorry...it is hard, very hard even with the tools of the program. It is wise to keep in your pocket that you have choices and hopefully your lunch will nourish you. Having program pals remind me that I had choices was simple and powerful.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

An idea: Him: "Rag, rag, rag." You: "I understand" spoken as you search for your best sun hat if you have one and go for a walk?

Him: "Rag, rag, rag." You: "I understand" spoken as you head for your purse and take the car to go to the store?

Him: "Rag, rag, rag." You: "I understand" as you head for the bathroom and turn on the shower.

Him: "Rag, rag, rag." You: "I understand" as you get out your running shoes and go for a run.

He could be venting. He could be looking for a fight. He could be wanting you to pay more attention to him. I don't know and none of his ragging does anything but upset you from what I can tell in your share. Engaging on any level will just bring more of the same. I know a salesman who will act very, very interested when someone is complaining about something and then he will say, "Interesting," as if he cares when he really doesn't. I don't recommend it and yet I've seen what a rag stopper that one word and look is.

Whatever you choose to do to protect yourself from negativity while at the same time doing a loving thing for yourself might help to change what you can change for you and leave him alone with his ragging?

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

We have a saying in England - 'Don't let the b*****s get you down.' I often used to say that to myself at about 10.15 in the morning which was rag, rag, rag time in our house. I love Grateful's dialogue and I've used 'really?' many times as well. The combination of 'I understand' (which lets face it you understand fairly well what is going on!) and doing a loving thing for yourself has worked for me. Hope you have a lovely lunch.

-- Edited by milkwood on Saturday 21st of June 2014 01:51:16 PM

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

There is no way I would put up with that. how dare anyone do that to another person! i don't care how long i have been with someone that would not be ok with me.

I would simply say, "speak to me with respect or not at all." if they started again i would leave the room, leave the house, leave. Just would not allow it.

get some earplugs and if they start stick them in in front of them. I mean it.

lol

We teach others how to treat us, I believe that. What is it about you that you allow it? I am saying that so maybe you can ask yourself. NO ONE deserves it!

What are you doing for you? how are you having fun? Just becuz we stay with the A does not mean we have toput up with bolony. We can stand up for ourselves.

hugs!!!!

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

smile Good one, blessed!

Green Eyes · ~*Service Worker*~

"When nothing changes, nothing changes." Now you ARE changing and taking care of YOU! Hugs....

Lainey · Member

Doing something positive for yourself like going to lunch with a friend is a loving thing to do for you.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.