The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thursday night, my daughter #2 found me a great lawn guy, so i got him to do my yard...great guy, great job, my oldest grandson's uncle , he is...
anyway, I call Daughter to thank her profusely for helping me find a yard guy and we chat and she says "I love you mom, i miss you" and i told her the same thing and we chatted some more and really, there are times I want to choke her till her eye balls pop out but i love this kid...she is my kid....
I told her that i was on vaca jul 1 - 4th and would she like to go to gym with me??? Hang out w/me??? she is "oh yea, mom, I would liek that"
So...I will go with hope, but little expectations as she does not follow through, but i do think she misses her good ole mom...i see a lot of my coda traits in her and god bless her i pray ea. day she gets into recovery like D#1 did, in fact we both went together...D#1 is doing great...working like a little worker bee....I so want that for my younger one, but I am powerless......her hp is not..........gonna let her hp handle the tiller on this one
Wish me luck that we get to do SOMETHING together....even if it is wrong, LOL....JUST kidding....I just would like to have a nice day w/her....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hope it comes together and you can enjoy a day together.
My mum and I have a very up and down relationship; we get along best when we arrange to do something on neutral ground like meet for lunch and shopping or a day out somewhere...so, the other day I messaged her and asked would she like to meet daughter and I in the holidays to see a movie- Maleficent. I said 'when i saw the trailer I thought of you" well I meant because she likes fairy-tales and I thought it would be a movie we would all enjoy together but she took it to mean that I was calling her an evil witch and signed off in a huff LOL -yet more proof that people don't always get their meaning across when they are typing to each other hehe
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
When things don't pan out as I planned I try to have a good time regardless - gosh I've had some fun! Last year I got to watch the north sea raging (I had no idea there was a force 9 gale blowing) it was amazing. A couple of years ago AH picked an argument while we were on holiday and refused to come on a boat trip with me so I had a cove full of beautiful fishes nibbling at my toes all to myself. I'll be wishing you luck whatever happens - and I know that it will be an extra treat if you get to share good times with your daughter my friend. (((hugs)))
Hope it comes together and you can enjoy a day together.
My mum and I have a very up and down relationship; we get along best when we arrange to do something on neutral ground like meet for lunch and shopping or a day out somewhere...so, the other day I messaged her and asked would she like to meet daughter and I in the holidays to see a movie- Maleficent. I said 'when i saw the trailer I thought of you" well I meant because she likes fairy-tales and I thought it would be a movie we would all enjoy together but she took it to mean that I was calling her an evil witch and signed off in a huff LOL -yet more proof that people don't always get their meaning across when they are typing to each other hehe
ohh nooo!!! i am so sorry.....I was thinking about this very thing, about how we can say something and the other takes it wrong and gets pissed and like your mom, signing off....I used to do that real bad....now, with program, i am getting better about saying "hey what did u mean??? i am not sure i get it"......i got a pm from someone here and i just said "hey i don't understand, i am confused" and for sure, when they explained to me what was up, i was like "oh yea,, glad i asked FIRST".....things can be soo taken out of context when a simple fix would be "hey what did ya mean by that???" and not in an angry way, but just ASKING....I have to be mindful of that b/c i can take stuff all wrong...get my butt in a wad all for nothing......and its true...typing is really risky of late, LOL....so sorry your mom didn't ASK you.........
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
When things don't pan out as I planned I try to have a good time regardless - gosh I've had some fun! Last year I got to watch the north sea raging (I had no idea there was a force 9 gale blowing) it was amazing. A couple of years ago AH picked an argument while we were on holiday and refused to come on a boat trip with me so I had a cove full of beautiful fishes nibbling at my toes all to myself. I'll be wishing you luck whatever happens - and I know that it will be an extra treat if you get to share good times with your daughter my friend. (((hugs)))
WOW!!! u saw a gale blowing??? wee ooo that would be something to see...my sister in FLA sends me pics of storms coming across the SE atlantic and i am thinking WOW, its awesome..i mean she stays till the wind is almost in her face, lol..........and i am with ya...my AH#1 was real bad about last minute bollixing up my plans or trying..one time there was a petting zoo at this outside market near where we lived and clothes 1/2 off and even more and last minute he says "i don't want to go" meaning he wanted to sit in front of tv and drink....I called my best friend and WE went....had a blast...I got to hug a llama and her baby....ohh so sweet and soft...and played w/some goats....yea, i am with ya on if they don't want to go??? i go by myself.....next week i work 2 days then OFF...so we shall see what goes...like i said...hoping, but little expectations...I have a young niece i can drag w/me , she is off work for a while maternity leave, and i will hang out w/her or just go by myself like u did................hugs back at ya
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I'm glad your doing this. Take advantage of the moments.
Always love with kindness and take care ..
oh Cathy, I can relate to the "take advantage of the moments" she changes faster than the Texas weather, LOL.....and yea, i will always love her and treat her sweet, but i also plan to proceed w/caution....like just love but with loving detachment....so far its working...i think she sees the changes in me, like i just get up and go, no fretting about her or arguing with her...i just do my thing, find joy whereever and when ever i can and yea, make my own life.......so how are you doing???
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Glad you're going with no expectations, Rose. Sounds like a good program plan.
well how many times did i get emotionally "beaten up" before i learned to love with detachment?? a lot, but i just realize, i cannot expect much from her w/out her being in recovery...it is what it is....i cannot force my will upon her, it would not be right...she has to learn her own lessons and walk her own journey......in my acceptance of being powerless, i have found a lot of "power" within...like she can't yank my chain anymore....i just don't pick up that rope she tosses out to me to play tug o war.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
