The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been cleaning out my old emails and found this message that I sent to my AH a little over three years ago:
Dear <<<>>>>,
It is clear this disease called alcoholism has taken control of you. You've chosen not to give up drinking for your health, for me, for your daughters, or for your grandson and future grandkids. I'm sorry for thinking that I can control it or change you. I can't. It's clear that your disease, alcoholism, is in control. It is a monster in our family. I am very sad for you and all of us who love you and who are also being affected by it. It's heartbreaking to watch its control over you and the choices you have made. I always thought that our 29th year of marriage would be our best year ever.
I want you to be well, but I can't help you and support you if you don't want help or if you don't think you need help.
My AH died from the effects of his drinking two years after I sent this email to him at the age of 52 years old. I sent several messages to him that were similar to this one. They never seemed to make a difference. When I finally started to work on me, I got better, even though he continued to drink himself to an early death. For what its worth, I just thought I'd share...We didn't cause it, we can't control it, and we can't cure it.
-- Edited by Green Eyes on Saturday 21st of June 2014 01:28:53 AM
(((((Green Eyes))))) Mahalo for that share...what courage to stick with your own healing and recovery. This is a fatal disease if not arrested by total abstinence. The total abstinence was yours and you are still here helping others. Thank God for you!! (((((hugs)))))
Sad time for you then. Thank you for your share, GE, and I am glad you have been in the program and working this through and on the MIP board, too. I always look forward to your shares. Your name is beautiful.
Greeneyes, thank you baring your soul in this area. You have traveled the road of the pain many of us only imagine and fear. It is your reality. You have taken this pain and turned it into strength by using it to empower those struggling where you once were. I find this to be a courageous and loving act. May the love behind this come back to you 1,000 fold. Bless You, and thank you for being here as a beacon of light.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is helpful to me to look at old posts here to see where I was and where I am. I also stumbled upon a note I wrote to my AH about 5-6 yrs before I filed for divorce. I'm sure I don;t have to tell you very similar in content to yours. It made me sad but also made me realize for how long I was trying to manage the unmanageable.
