The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It was almost exactly a year ago today that I left the first time. I was a severely disturbed and depressed woman, scared she would hurt herself or others in the fury of the backlash of alcoholism.
Today, I am learning to ask "what do I want?" Not even what's is best for this relationship or future. Flat out "do I want x y or z." Well it turns out that heck no! I sure don't. Am I willing to risk Never seeing what is behind door number one? Yes, I'm finally ready to let the chips fall where they may.
My AH consciously decided to go out to a strip club even though we have talked about that not being right. He does what he wants when he wants. I want better.
I had already been looking for a place and the place I moved into a year ago (which I adore) became available, but I hesitated. So I just said IF it's available, here is my bank card. I packed my bags this morning and snuck out while he took a nap. They dropped off the key in the mailbox and I'm settled in (it's fully furnished) and finally have some peace and quiet.
May peace and quiet find you all tonight.
Hugs, Susie, I have no doubt that that was a difficult thing for you to do. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you much love and support today!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Susie: You became aware of what you wanted to do. You accepted what you wanted to do. Then, you acted on what you wanted to do. I'm glad you're back in the place you began to flourish a year ago. Sure sounds like an HP thing to me that it became available for you again! (((S)))
I know what an emotional day you have had. Wishing you a peaceful nights rest. Tomorrow is a brand new day to live on YOUR terms, as you see fit to live it!
Good for you! I am woman hear me roar!!!!! So proud of you!!! You deserve better! Maybe he will get a disease tonight from his strip club....ha. ...sorry...I couldn't resist saying that. Your share has reminded me why I moved out too. Fully furnished? Wow that's great. I hope you can stay strong, I have been weak lately:(
I love your comment about 'what's behind door number one' - a brilliant way of describing what hooks me! How wonderful to be in a lovely place that you feel comfortable in - you deserve it. Brava!
Yeah, im glad you got your apartment back. I think you showed your own soul some love susie. He will up the promises for a while, the sweet talk, poor mes and all the rest. Put your armour on, ie your alanon tools, good for you.x