Last night my husband came from work and he had a few drinks before coming home.

He came into the bedroom to check if I was awake (I was) and then proceeded to ask questions about the fish tank...apparently the fish were acting weird. As I had made some changes to the fish tank set up - with his agreement - he wanted to blame me and wanted me to sort out.

I went to check and we got talking about the tank and how it needs cleaning (his duty) and how he will do it asap (he has being saying this for months), so anyway, from the fish the conversation turned into the relationship and things that happened from 2005 when we met each other up to now.

Well, all of the things that I have done wrong, of course and all of the things that I should have done and didn't do and so on...

It was a very strange conversation...he would fluctuate from being calm and reasonable to being agitated and unreasonable within seconds. It was like I was watching a movie.

And the topics started to go in circles of course.

But the big difference was my behaviour.

Thanks to you all and this forum, I managed to stay 100% calm and collected all the time!!! Even when personal attacks were flying towards me.

See, just 5 days ago, we had a very big fight that prompted me to reach AL-Anon.

Last night we didn't fight. I just listened and listened and listened when he was ranting. I spoke too, but probably in a different way, somehow he managed to listen and not interrupt  and actually managed to understand what I was trying to say (I think).

The only thing that makes me very sad is that I tried to have the same conversation when he was sober, but he wasn't ready.

Why they just want to talk when under the influence?

Anyway, this morning I had to leave early for my course and I left our daughter with him.

His parents came to visit and after my course I went to meet with them all in the city centre. We were walking in a shopping centre looking at shop windows, when H saw a pair of sandals that he liked. He mentioned something about "needing" one pair for our holidays (it is going to be only 1 week holiday and the only time of the year he will wear sandals). I pointed out that he has one pair already, not exactly the same, but very similar (same brand) and he doesn't need another pair.

He than said the two sandals were not the same and he liked the one in the shop. I said that we are already spending a lot on this holiday (paid for at the beginning of the year) and have to find spending money for it, also we are attending a wedding just before the holiday and on the top of that we are going through an unexpected  financial muddle at the moment and we need to be extra careful with money right now otherwise we will be in trouble. Why thinking about buying a second pair of sandals similar to the one he got already and he will use only for 1 week of the year?

He then said very abruptly "Don't stress me out!"

What? I was just having an adult conversation! I didn't say anything wrong and certainly wasn't being rude to him, why he can't talk about those things without getting stressed? Sure this is normal conversation between adults who are tied financially?

So he gave his back to me and entered the next shop were his parents were. I stood on the outside, open mouth and stunned, not knowing what to think...then he came back and said he was not going to tolerate me stressing him out anymore...I than calmly asked him if he realises we are in financial troubles? because doesn't seem he knows it yet...he said of course he knows about our money problems but he was just "thinking' about buying it, not "buying' it and I stressed him out.

So I said that I don't think it was fair of him being rude to me just because I gave him my opinion and I was gonna go home and leave them all to it.

He said: Just GO

I started to move and he wanted me to go inside the shop and tell his parents I was going back home, but I said I would see them back in the house later, so what is the point?

He said, I couldn't just go home and not say "good bye see you later at home" to them..

But I did. I just came home. Turned my back on him and came home. I don't care and won't play games anymore.

I will not tolerate him being rude to me anymore. I will not fight back (God help me) but I will turn my back and leave whenever possible.

I wonder how things are going to be when they all come home later. My daughter was there too and saw a bit of the conversation (as well as other members of the public), I can't leave like this anymore.

By the way, his breath smelled. It was only 3pm. I know he drank beer today and probably his body is still getting rid from the alcohol he drank yesterday through ho pores.