It's hard to quit an addiction, even it was painful and damaging.  That goes for us as well as for him.  But you have a guy with crazy behavior who's been harmful in all kinds of ways, and he was living with you even though you don't believe in cohabitation -- so I wonder if it can really be him you're missing?  Maybe it's the chaos, the hope, the struggle, the distraction?  That was sure a big part of it for me.  It's hard to let go of old habits even if they were making us miserable.  Hang in there and get lots of support.  Meetings? Readings?

Thing is I own a yorky polo and my a bf bonded with him big time over the years my yorky polo I've had him for 8years ,and I can take for a walk but not inside places he isn't allowed here in my town,so my dog sulls up at me if I leave him home for very long by himself .im feeling stuck here.very much so my dog is soo loveing.

What do you think would be of help to you, L?

Pinkchip/Mark is especially wise.

I remember a friend who was entangled in a relationship with a really damaging guy.  She had many reasons she couldn't get out of the relationship.  They co-owned a building that they rented out to a bar, and she was afraid of the people who ran the bar, so she was afraid to collect the rent on her own.  So she needed him so he could collect the rent.  And she had a truck and he could fix it for free and it broke down a lot.  And if he moved out she'd have to get a roommate but the other bedroom wasn't fixed up.  There were lots of "reasons" to stay with him.  These are what came to mind when I read about your Yorkie.  The thing was that when she realized how damaging their relationship was, and how she deserved better, she was able to move ahead so fast.  Our addictions try to trick us all the time with reasons we shouldn't make our lives better.  Take good care of yourself and your Yorkie. 

Face to face meetings, working the steps with a sponsor,fellowship and making calls to alanon friends are key to recovery. I have been where you are right now and I understand. You are not broken or sick you have just taken on some behaviors and conditioning that is not beneficial to your true self. You are able to help yourself through the program and shifting the focus where it rightly belongs back to yourself. Journal, feel your feelings, get to know you. On some days I can still want to know everything even when knowing is painful. I learned this very well from my family of origin. The answers to my questions are usually not what I want to hear. My old habits can be hard to break...I do it little by little being gentle with myself. I leave you with this little mantra that one of my dearest friends gave to me "I am no longer curious about things that will upset me" blessings you are in my prayers. This is your decision of course but you will have to decide to put your own recovery above everyone else including the dog, your ex, etc. I could never have began recovery in isolation I had to get to face to face meetings. I am a recovering love addict and today I can say I forgive myself for that. I began my recovery and will continue to recover with my hp and my program friends. Please continue to share your recovery journey here ;)