The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The earliest definition of alcoholism I heard in Al-Anon was that it is a disease and not a moral issue...I got it. My alcoholic/addict wife was not a bad person...she was a sick person with a compulsion to drink and use and an allergy to alcohol and drugs. Her Mom wanted me to help make her clean and sober and I was learning I was powerless over alcohol and drugs. When I stopped trying to "help" her and/or "fix" her I got better; saner and worked on the feelings of guilt I once had from not trying to "make" her something the disease didn't want her to be. It's not a moral issue...the compulsive alcoholic/addict has no more power over this disease while it is raging than an asprin over cancer. The only inventory I have ever taken which worked for me; was my own. MIP is about recovery from the effects from alcoholism and drug addiction on those who have been affected. Keep coming back ((((hugs))))
Sorry truth, not sure what your getting at. I sometimes get suspicious of these short sentences as I feel there is a hidden agenda attached to them. Are you saying that mothers of alcoholics fail to give their children morals?
I was reading the magazine to see how I handle him sneaking cookies. Then I realized I just need to tell him that although it is "fun". It is dishonest. It would be more appropriate to ask and wait for an answer. It worked.
I realized I had a part in the problem because I was giving him treats as a reward for using the potty. Now he thinks he can sneak a treat after he uses the washroom.
Sorry you feel this way truth. If you had revealed the full story your feedback would have been much more helpful to you. I assume all posts are alcohol related.x
I, too, attend Al-Anon and post and respond at this board because I'm interested in healing from and sharing with others who know they are affected by the disease of alcoholism. Sometimes, some issues arise that may or may not be related to alcoholism, and I might share some of my own e/s/h and how the program helped me or what other supports were in place to help me and might help others with those issues. But, for the most part, I am in Al-Anon and on this board only to practice the program and reflect on the issues/causes/effects that relate to alcoholism.
The earliest definition of alcoholism I heard in Al-Anon was that it is a disease and not a moral issue...I got it. My alcoholic/addict wife was not a bad person...she was a sick person with a compulsion to drink and use and an allergy to alcohol and drugs. Her Mom wanted me to help make her clean and sober and I was learning I was powerless over alcohol and drugs. When I stopped trying to "help" her and/or "fix" her I got better; saner and worked on the feelings of guilt I once had from not trying to "make" her something the disease didn't want her to be. It's not a moral issue...the compulsive alcoholic/addict has no more power over this disease while it is raging than an asprin over cancer. The only inventory I have ever taken which worked for me; was my own. MIP is about recovery from the effects from alcoholism and drug addiction on those who have been affected. Keep coming back ((((hugs))))
100% agree with this...being in alanon has helped me "understand" my mothers alcoholism....i don't excuse what she did to me , but i understand it....she was SICK...an alcoholic who was not only physically addicted, but mentally messed up as well......her sister, my mama aunt helen tells me about her "big sister" and what a wonderful girl she was and i just listen and wnder "are we talking about the same person????" but then i realize...i saw the alkie, mama aunt helen saw the young girl who was b4 the disease took her.....really i think she drank to cope w/a monstrous marriage to a child offender and she became addicted and trapped in a new kind of hell....it killed her....it had nothing to do w/morals , in my opinionn, it was her intolerence to alcohol....we amer. indians don't do well with substance abuse for some reason it hurts our bodies more and sure enough, she drank herself to death......i agree with Jerry's post big time....when I realized that i was powerless over her situation, i began to 'ease up" and feel more peace b/c i was no longer trying to hide her booze, thwart her visits to the liquor store, in other words, i just LET GO....left her to her own devices b/c even then, b4 recovery for myself, i knew trying to "help her" was not gonna work.....she was in the grips of the disease and nothing i could do to help her.....she was already in its clutches when i was born, so i knew only the abusive, raging, alcoholic who locked me in a doggie crate so she could drink.....to this day i have no loving memories about her, and her letting him do such harm to me is reprehensible, but he gave her her booze to get her out of the way so he could bother me w/out her interference....judas got 30 pieces of silver.....she got a litre of Seagrams 7 to sell me out......it was disgusting what she did but i can feel some compassion for a broken human being which is what she was........
-- Edited by neshema2 on Sunday 1st of June 2014 01:14:10 PM
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Sorry I will clarify what my whole thought process is the next time I post. I used to be better at that. Now my brain is kind of short and choppy because I was taught to break each thought into small steps so I don't get overwhelmed. I still can read and understand but for some reason I cannot get back to clear longer thoughts.
Nemesha I notice you have no problem doing that? Can you tell me if you tried something else?
