The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone!
I hope everyone is doing well! Things here are going pretty well..aside from my AM still drinking...
An update on myself..
I passed my Anatomy & Physiology 2 class with a B. It was hard but I had a really good Professor which made all the difference!
I've finished all of my prerequisites for the Physical Therapy Assistant Program at my local community college..I'm slowly starting the process of doing 50 hours of observed time at 2 PT places...I'm looking forward to it..very excited!
I'm dealing with a new interim boss at work & a new assistant manager..it's frustrating at times.. but at least my boss is temporary.
Other than school, the thing I'm most proud of is.. that I called a psychologist with whom I'm hoping I can start seeing soon...because I know I need to in order to cope with my AM's drinking. It makes me very angry when she drinks and I've been taking said anger out on my dad and brother, which I know isn't right at all. I feel very bad for doing this..they aren't the source of my anger..the drinking is. But it is getting hard(er) for me to ignore.
I feel so trapped in taking care of the house, my AM, work and school stuff this summer..it can be at times overwhelming..or maybe I'm just being overly dramatic...
I know that by taking care of my AM (making sure she eats during the day) I'm enabling her..but I don't want to see her get anymore physically sick than she already is due to her drinking.
She also has arthritis and other health issues.
We are planning to meet with a professional next week to talk about doing an intervention..we've all already written our letters and we'll see how this goes...
If you wouldn't mind saying some prayers/good thoughts my way..I'd appreciate it.
I enjoy helping people and making them smile...it fills me with happiness (not in an ego boosting kind of way).
That being said...I resent my AM..for drinking...for the lies...for the 'Do what I want now or else I will get very angry' sort of demanding attitude (i.e. on mother's day she was drinking while we (my family and I) were making dinner..she whined about not having a salad so she demanded someone go up and get one..hopefully that makes sense).
That's not to say that my dad and brother don't help out around the house/with my AM.
Thank you for listening and thank you for letting me share.
Congratulations on your hard work and the progress you have made in school. I'm happy to see you have chosen to be proud of your accomplishments and assets? Sorry to hear that the disease is affecting you more. Glad to see that you notice your anger isn't typical of you and is not something you want to continue to act on if that was your meaning? I do hope the psych is the right one for you and can help you deal with some of the issues that you are experiencing as a result of the exposure to the disease and your powerlessness over it. Keep us posted.
