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Is Al-Anon the right place for family members of those who are using drugs? Or only alcohol? If this is not the right group, would someone kindly direct me to to the right name/group. Thanks very much!
Hello, im not completely sure, this is a good place for people who are dealing with addiction. There are a lot of people here who are affected by addiction to drugs, most are dealing with alcohol issues. Personally, I think they are similar issues, the specifics may be different but I imagine the damage done to families is similar. I know where I come from there is a support group for families living with drug addiction, it is a twelve step program too. Someone will come with a clearer answer for you but im sure you are very welcome.x
Thanks! My daughter uses and I believe abuses drugs. I know she drinks occassionally too. I need someone to talk to and someone suggested alanon. She is ruining her life and her son's life and it is tearing her father and I up. We don't know what we did wrong. And no matter how much we do for her or try to help, it never seems to be enough and nothing gets better. Our hearts are breaking... I looked for a meeting on the internet and there is one in our town tonight. I am thinking about going but didn't want to intrude if it's only for family members of alcoholics.
Welcome! I'm glad you have found us. Addictions have a lot in common, and there are a number of people here with drug problems in their loved ones. This is very much the right place. There's a chair waiting for you here.
One of the best things I heard in Al-Anon: I didn't cause the addiction/dependency. 2. I can't control the addiction/dependency. 3. I can't cure the addiction/dependency.(3Cs) When I was aware there was a problem of addiction/dependency and accepted there was a problem of addiction/dependency in my loved one, I went to Al-Anon to get help for myself whether my loved one continue to use.(3As)
Alcoholism is in my family's history for generations. I am not an A, but I am a person who needed to learn that I was powerless over alcohol and other people when my life became unmanageable. (Step 1)
In order to learn the steps, I needed to go to meetings with others who were and had been through the experience of loving somebody who couldn't stop drinking/drugging because they, too, were powerless over the compulsion. The more I understood how the disease worked, the more I saw what I could and couldn't do. I could find myself again and refuse to let the disease destroy me. I could also learn to detach and let my adult child struggle with this disease, pray for them, and encourage them to find help for themselves. I learned other things, too, that I needed to know and didn't know about how my "helping" wasn't helping and how my life could quickly become as trashed as my loved one's life if I didn't get into and stay in a recovery program for me.
Our loved ones can die after being drug through hell by this disease and maybe long before they even feel the affects of it, we are being drug by the disease into hell ourselves. Al-Anon is the solution to sleepless nights, putting ourselves on call 24 hours a day thinking about or doing for our loved one, or thinking our helping will be all they need when in fact our helping is the last thing they need in many cases. This is one of the few diseases that require us to do or not do what we would normally do with our loved ones when they have a life threatening illness.
Keep coming back here. Please find some Al-Anon meetings for you. They can be a big help and working the program is an even bigger help.
Hello,I believe going to a mtg tonight is one of the best things you could do for yourself at this point. We are affected by our loved ones addictions weather it be alcohol,drugs,food,etc. Alanons primary purpose is to help families of alcoholics but I get help in lots of other areas of my life by going to alanon. We can't change the persons in our life that have the addiction but we can help ourselves and by helping ourselves we can then be of help to our loved ones. I learned its a sickness. We didn't cause it,we can't control it,and we also can't cure it. Keep coming back and posting and I strongly encourage you to try meetings. I think there's also Naranon mtgs which would be for families affected by drugs. But alanon can also help those affected by drugs. Good luck!
Most people are cross addicted to both drugs and alcohol these days. I think you would be welcome and at home in alanon. You could search for Naranon as well, which deals specifically with families of drug abusers, but those meetings are harder to find and not that much different than Alanon anyhow...so if you find a good Alanon meeting, that should work.
You are definitely in the right place. Your not alone.. I too have an adult active addict son .. I feel like I am grieving every day for my son. I am strong in my spirituality. I have to surrender my son to my higher power. I as all have done all I can do for my son. Sometimes getting out of there way allows them to help themselves. It's a emotional roller coaster and It effects the ones that love them the most , but while there in there addiction they are not thinking about is. Pray for peace and strenghth. God bless
Both my parents were drug addicts and I married an alcoholic, and in dealing with all 3 of my qualifiers al-anon has helped me! So yes, I believe al-anon can help you!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Is Al-Anon the right place for family members of those who are using drugs? Or only alcohol? If this is not the right group, would someone kindly direct me to to the right name/group. Thanks very much!
you came to the right place...alanon has folks w/ loved ones or friends on any substance abuse...alanon teaches us no matter what our situations how to focus and take care of us and how to detach from the sickness/drama/using/drinking and to not enable them anymore...to care for us and let them reap their own consequences.....I am not here much, but glad i saw this b/c i wanted to tell you you belong here as much as anyone
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
((((Ditto)))) all the above especially including the welcome to MIP...Keep coming back. Go to the white pages of your local telephone book and find the hotline number to Al-Anon. Call that number and find out where and when we get together in your are and then come as quickly as you can. Take a wide open mind and the willingness to listen and learn. You may hear someone else tell your own story. The similarities in our stories are important in letting us know we are in the right place. My eldest son is cross addicted (both drugs and alcohol) and has been since birth. He recently relapsed after a longer period of being chemical free without a program of recovery such as AA/NA or similar spiritual based program. That part of our family is now in ashes which the progression of the disease can and will do if it is not arrested by total abstinence. God's got him and the rest of the family too. He's got to do his part. This is the right place. I also was born and raised in the disease and have married and had intimate relationships with alcoholics and addicts and didn't come to understand until I went to the white pages of my local telephone book and found the hotline number and then went. In support
I hope with all of these warm responses, that you know you are in the right place and have begun to feel that you are not alone...al anon meetings will help you to feel that there is a community that will help to hold you up through this heartbreaking experience. Hugs and blessings.
If I can take one thing from my time here, it is that "I" didn't do anything wrong. It took me a very long time to believe that but I know for sure, it's the truth.
Thank you all everyone! I did go to a meeting the day I started this thread and I believe it helped. My daughter checked herself into a rehab inpatient unit last night. I'm tempted to say "whew, now everything will be fine" and not go back to a meeting. But from everything I read about addiction, this is the first step in a very load road of recovery for both of us. Thank you all for your very considerate responses! :)
Yes, it's a long road, some longer than others. I'm glad you don't have the "put 'er in there and git 'er fixed" attitude like I did with my AWs first rehab.
My wife is in recovery now, but I go to plenty of meetings and am on here a lot. This is because Al Anon has helped me and my relationships immensely.
