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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Find your own way to the ER.....again..
Post Info TOPIC: Find your own way to the ER.....again..
sadsusie


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Find your own way to the ER.....again..
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I just sent my AH off to figure out a way for himself to get to the ER. This is the umpteenth time. He knows what happens when he does drugs. He is not my responsibility. I will not clean up after his messes. 

All he can think about is Guilt..He is in a pit of Guilt. Boy does that sound familiar, because I was there too...Once upon a time in what finally seems a far away place. Those wounds are still raw though. I know what it is like to feel guilty for feeling guilty. For living in a hell that I slowly slipped into without even realizing it. Bless you MIP family for opening my eyes to know that it was not reality. 

I am at a point now where I am trying to live my own life. Although I am saddened by my nonexistent marriage. I finally have happy things happening to me and I cannot share them with him. He is too distracted. 

I have made lots of friends from church, I started a new home based business which sort of "forces" me to interact with people. (luckily they are sincere quality people). I even got the "guts" up to finally actually OFFER up the idea to go out to lunch with someone I used to work with that I hadn't seen for months. These are big steps in my recovery. I used to feel uncomfortable of the *Idea* of going out to lunch. 

I took myself to Sephora (ohhh gotta love that store) and ask the sweet girls that work there for some help, cause I don't really know what I am doing. It was a delightful shopping experience. I got a pallet of eye shadow colors in a neutral that I am comfortable with, but still have some pizzaz. And am excited cause I have "directions" on how to apply and the girls gave me tips to experiment. Its fun to just be a girl. I feel like I missed out on that. 

I am also window shopping on pinterest for a new haircut. I decided to go with a pixie! I'm chomping at the bit I am so excited. And by goodness I am going to pay to get my hair colored too! 

Meanwhile, I am going to be as happy as I can and hope that It will serve as an example of what happiness looks like, and remind him that he IS worth it and DESERVES more that what he is giving himself. 



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Many Blessings,

"Sweet Susie"

 BEFORE-YOU-JUDGE-ME.jpgim in charge and I'm happypeople bring you down, you are above themresponsibilty for your energy
ilovedogs


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Oh, I love Sephora but I tend to shop at Ulta because I get good coupons from them. I just splurged on some cosmetics from IT cosmetics and I got my hair cut shorter. I took it above the shoulders into a tapered/shaped bob around my face. If you're on FB, you can friend me and see the pics, LOL!

It sounds like you are taking care of YOU and that is so important right now. You're doing a great job and you sound like you're on your own solid road of recovery! Sending you lots of cyber hugs. Let me know if you're on FB, I'll PM you my name, etc.

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Struggling to find me......
grateful2be


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Taking care of yourself! Good for you. Guilt - to me - is of no long-term benefit to anybody. It can help us see that we've violated our own values and after that we can choose to make an amends. Languishing in it isn't something I do anymore although I still have times when I get confused and my sponsor helps me see more clearly the way out of it into action that is beneficial as do members of the fellowship who are working their program. Glad you are going to take care of you and not wrestle with guilt for making a choice that honors what you know and what you've learned doesn't work for you anymore.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
SunshineGirl


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What lovely fun to be planning a new hair style and colour, along with new make up. Enjoy.

I love being a girl too. Wonderful to have that pleasure back. 



-- Edited by SunshineGirl on Monday 26th of May 2014 01:18:28 PM

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Debilyn


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biggrin  thank you for sharing such great progress! hey I have put together several lunch meets. I never had done that before. the four of us gals have a blast. none are shy lol

so nice too  about how you are prettying up! wish i could see a before and after. finding your beauty is so fulfilling.

Good for you for sending him off! hugs,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
el-cee


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Great post, Susie, good detachment and boundaries and taking your eyes off him and concentrating on you. How does freedom feel? I love that you are taking care of you , the hair, make up and clothes. I remember, all I would wear really was black, no make up, not in touch with my feminine side at all. Felt so sorry for myself and made sure the world new it.lol. Now, I wear make up every day, regular hair styled, colourful clothes, black does suit me though. I have found that my progress can be gauged on my nails, if I have colourful polish on, Im working it!! Its so funny, everyone in my group looks great and all wear bright colourful nail polish!!!! Thanks to Alanon.x

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Find your own way to the ER.....again..