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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Distressed and feeling crazy!
Post Info TOPIC: Distressed and feeling crazy!
lookingup


~*Service Worker*~

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Distressed and feeling crazy!
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I've got to make a dicision the ultimate division concerning my a b/f he lives here under my roof and I pay most all bills cause his work got slow but now it's picking up and I've just called him up and told him to get out of my house ,I found again on my internet where he has been talking with another woman but she is married but my a sure has been trying with her for the last 4 mths he finally called her on her phone I saw,this is his 2nd time to be messing with a woman on the internet in the last 2yrs 1st time I caught him I got over it but this time is telling me this is something he does ,yes it hurts me like a stick bein driven into my back.he has been trying to get himself better as in off his alcohol and has done good and his pain meds he has done good and his work has picked up but I've done been telling him that he had to move out into his own residence or however he lives ,I love him and will miss him dearly and lonesome isn't even the word for it.after 2mths without him I'm calling him back that ain't good either,he must be a cheater is all I know .or looking for something else it's not here with me evidently.this ultimate disicion I have to make is  soo hard I don't know what to do.i can't marry him cause our morals are so diff.plus he has ruined his body with hard drugs like needles nod hard liqueur over his lifetime he is 51year ole and been doing these drugs since he was a teenager he works carpentry plumbing and know most about electricity but he don't hardly ever feel good weighs 130 lbs @ 6'1 so I dunno he has had seizures a few yrs ago and got hospitalized for them but never took his meds or followed up or took his high blood pressure meds . this aiint easy and I don't know that I will make him actually leave but things will be totally diff. With me toward him I'm just decided I e got to go about my life and him his cause he will be soon leavening here that I know thanks for letting me ramble on an on .......hugs chin-up or looking up either one will do need more esh 



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Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

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You know what you know, listen to your instincts and take good care of yourself. I can relate and working my al-anon program saved my sanity. You deserve the very best and you can deliver that! Sending you love and support on your recovery journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Debilyn


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Oh Honey it is a very hard place to be I know. I can tell you if this time you can get thru the pain long enough, you won't want him back.

I found the more time went by, the more the way I lived became familiar to me. At first everything feels out of place. And of course we miss another human with us.

Some people can handle the guys who cat around. They can still love you in their way. BUT for me no thank you. I don't even believe in sex before marriage!

We are here all the time to help you thru it! I know for me keeping busy was and is the key. I lost my xah to a brain tumor surgery, he relapsed and is not anyone I would want to know. the sweet guy died. That was how I was able not to call him. Was hard at first. But in my head I would say,"The lovely man you knew all your life is dead."Which is true.

Also I thought, he cannot give me what I need anyway, so why bother? The trade off was NOT worth it.

YES that pain is super hard> I just went thru it with a boyfriend who worked hard on me to trust him and he knew I was widowed twice, all my family has passed. He knew the pain of it as he was just my friend for over 10 years. I mean he took care of me sending money, food. cloths, some presents, called.Was always there for me. Then had a family thing happen, and he left me. Yes he felt horrible, but can you imagine me?

Took me a long long time to recover. We should have been married by now.

Its hard I know. I struggle with it.

I hope you find ways to keep busy. I spent time snooping in thrift shops, antique shops, putting up fences, grooming my dogs and my horse. busy busy and then just came in and fell asleep. Now I honestly am too afraid to fall in love again. S was the first time I gave my all. Doing the same thing, expecting a different outcome is insanity...????

ugh. I am here for you as we all are! TAke a breath drop your elbows, breath. ONE day at a time is how I do it too!



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
lookingup


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1008
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Thanx to both of you for your wonderful helpful esh and yes deblyn I too don't even believe in sex before marriage either ,I've been divorced 2times and this ab/f is about to do me in big time I'm almost afraid I'm got a huge problem with grieving it my all for one thing but I have very legit reasons too,my a/bf hung up on me earlier when I called him to bless him out and told him to go live with that girl .he tried to say that they were just friends but I know better he was trying to turn it into more and so was she even though she was married .im feeling sick.

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Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
Mattie


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I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I guess this is one of those times that saying applies, "When someone tells you who he is, believe him."  He has told you with his behavior, and he keeps on behaving that way and will.  I know this is not what you want.  It's the strong emotions that keep us in bad situations, isn't it?  When I had to leave my destructive A, I felt as if the wind was howling through me, I was so lost and despairing and lonely.  But really it wasn't him, it was the way I had set up my whole life.  He was the one I was trying to fill the hole with, but no single person could fill the hole.  The chaos and the promise of happiness just distracted me.

I hope you have a meeting?  Even the good changes are hard and we deserve all the support we can get.  Hugs.



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