The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
SO why am I so used to a rollercoaster life if I've been detatched from AH? I want to reconstruct my psyche. My brain has gotten so used to the vicious cycle, and I want to find a way out. To be reborn without the effects....the trauma of experiences. I'm NOT a martyr as I chose to take part as a codependent in the insanity of the disease of alcoholism/addiction.
I need to NOT want sooooo much out of life. To keep it simple......because sometimes I've found that when I want so much, it backlashes me with dissatisfaction.
I'm not socializing in "low places", drinking, or involving myself in unhealthy behaviors but I have a lot of anger issues I need to address because my life didn't turn out as peachy as I wanted. There are peachy moments, but I have to learn how to sail the strong winds which sometimes come as a torment and not a breeeze. Overall, that is life, and it's all based on character in dealing with what comes.
Today, I will just do what is necessary. Talking to friends, having a small ice cream helped me a bit today.....
Also, I'm getting motivated to give out so much of the clutter I have in my bedroom this summer when I have time. It gives me anxiety when I come home from work.
I don't have much, but I'll probably gain so much overall...(especially mentally) just by giving it freely than not....only because I refuse to give an item away because it cost me so much in the first place. Worldly possessions do not bring peace anyway.
Just for today, I'll live with gratitude, embrace where I am and leave the rest.
-- Edited by RoseODAT on Thursday 15th of May 2014 09:05:16 PM
-- Edited by RoseODAT on Thursday 15th of May 2014 09:14:59 PM
lol I hate stuff! I cannot believe the amount one person can have!!
By reading this I fell you are introspective to the max right now. I hope you can give yourself enough time to get to a place of serenity.
When things happen... I just had surgery, dvt, then my dear sweet puppy died. I tell myself this is life and accept it.Hurts horrible, but life does.
I am an animal activist. I know the truth about dairies, and the meat in those grocery stores. If you all knew you would be a vegan too. Even store bought eggs are from a very bad source.
I am saying this becuz this is life too. For me I came to a serenity to change what I can, leave what I cannot. I don't shut up as far as injustice.
truck won't start, that is life, I will figure it out. horse trough needs emptied, ok I will get to it. dogs need grooming again, ok.
Left my paint at the store. I went there to get it, then got some food...sigh, came home to paint my new to me little deck to the dogs big fenced in area for going out at night etc. rrrr I hate leaving my home btw. life it happens. so I deal with it, look for options, get it done. Make a list and like the feeling of crossing things off.
I keep losing more fat but dang not my tummy. life. I do not want my feet arms legs fingers or face any less fat! life.
fences need up, otho doc says NO 4 more weeks on a crutch, gads are you kidding??? life.
sometimes I sit on my double recliner with my dogs and probably a cat or two, and just breath. listen to the chickens and baby birds, look the dishes need done, floor needs mopped, am in the middle of doing wash and hanging, still in my nightgown and it is almost noon! life in the country.....hugs
__________________
Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."