The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
What finally impels the spouse of an alcoholic to look for help in Al-Anon? One large factor is the need for reassurance, to know that were not responsible for the alcoholics drinking. We know we are being torn down, usually by the drinkers own guilt and self-reproach. This has left us without a shred of self-esteem. We come in as nobodies and we desperately want to be somebody.
It isnt that were looking for approval and praise from others, but that we want the inner confidence that we are adequate and worthy of respect. We need to learn that we have rights as individuals, no matter how grim the home situation may be.
Todays Reminder
The restoration of self-esteem is one of Al-Anons prime functions. It doesnt encourage a big ego view of ourselves, but in helping us to see ourselves as we really are, we learn to sort out our good qualities, and on that foundation, to build stronger, better personalities.
I am grateful for what Al-Anon is doing for me. I am relieved to know that I can have a better picture of myself than I came in with, and that I must respect and like myself as a person before I can begin to grow.
Indeed! One day at a time. I need to constantly remind myself it is not me and I am valuable. Just as my AH needs to pull himself out with HP intervention, I need to pull myself out daily with God's help.
I can tell you why I joined alanon. I had spent 8 years being lied to. The concept I had of my marriage was gone. The spouse I thought I knew, I realized I didn't. I was being told that I was crazy even though I was spot on. I became obsessed with finding out the truth. I became exhausted from trying to fix, help, and/or cure my spouse. I lost myself. I was miserable. I was tormented by the idea of should I leave or stay. My son stopped talking to my spouse. My world went upside down and I felt anxious all the time. I sort of hit my own bottom. I had to swim or drown. I decided to swim. I have found a fellowship who understands me and accepts me. I believe alanon is my life preserver. I like myself SO much now. The A will never take that away from me again. Thanks and love, Lyne
