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The kids went and visited with their dad .. my poor daughter had a major panic attack during the visitation .. she's very over his behavior. She hasn't had a panic attack for months and he is a definite trigger for her. Thankfully she has a therapy appointment tomorrow. We have all hit a false sense of security with not having to deal with him on a regular basis. Her anxiety has been way down. Ironically my PTSD has been nonexistent as well until this last go around. So I get where she is at big time.
He just doesn't get it and won't talk about the last visitation, 8 months of no visitation, the bad visitation, the hospitalization, and so on .. this is exactly what she needs to talk about and why the panic attack happened. He tried to pretend that everything was fine and said some stupid things about money and she lost her mind. She just went off like a rocket. My little guy eyes were big when he was talking about what happened .. she finally calmed down when she got home. I haven't heard from him regarding her outburst. She really nailed him though and I hope that she found some closure for herself in speaking her truth even though she didn't stand in it quietly.
She is MUCH better thankfully .. I'm grateful for the fact they weren't with him that long. It was a 2 hour visit. He is moving back to his mothers and I know that is a source of her anxiety as well. She doesn't like to visit at his mother's it brings up a lot of bad memories for her and his behavior in the past.
I debated about texting him and thought to myself it would and could cause more issues. Girl has enough on her plate bless her heart I don't need to add to it. I did decide if he brings it up .. I will discuss certain aspects.
We had a good time today in spite of the mishap later in the afternoon. My youngest and I played some card games. I realized I need to get a cribbage board! I think he would have fun with it. I'm going to teach the kids 99 as well. Those were card games I played with my grandparents and they are fast easy games.
Anyway, it's over for two weeks .. thankfully.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I think its good your daughter got that out, good for her. Her and her dad may be able to get to another place now he knows how she feels. After a bit of time in recovery I tried to work out the dynamics between my kids and their dad, I used to get invoved in all of it before but I realised that staying well out of it unless absolutely necessary helped my kids work out their own feelings and when I dint get involved they came to me with some news or info knowing I would listen only, no opinions, no comments or judging their dad. I came to see that despite it all and despite what I thought or my perception of him is, my kids had different feelings and have a different perception of him. They had a relationship that had nothing to do with me, his attempts to be a parent used to infuriate me because in my eyes he was selfish, inconsiderate, manipulative and all the rest but in my kids eyes he is something altogether different, I cant fully understand and any attempts to interfere in the past has always backfired.x
