The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I was very determined to have an amazing day, just my girl and I. I had such wonderful plans!
But daughter has been sick all week and is fed up with coughing and being stuck at home with me and being bored. She's not in the best of moods. (To put it mildly).
So the reality of today was- dragging a sullen child into town on the bus, arguing with her as she tried to demand that I buy her expensive new jeans that she didn't want to try on because "THEY"LL FIT ALL RIGHT???", (said in her very best"angry demon" voice), silently eating a lunch that she picked out and then didn't like, coming home and getting her to bed and then getting back up to clean up her spewed-in-bed 2 minutes after I had finally sat down for some me-time.
Yay!!!
lol.
I got a "thanks for everything mum" as she went to sleep and a sweet hug and I am grateful to be at a place in my life where really, it's more amusing than upsetting when days like this occur. We all have bad days and today was one for her, no point taking it personally
Ah........those pre-teen days with my daughter. I remember them well. I'm also glad they're over. I'm looking forward to my 36 year old daughter coming over later today to set up whatever it is she bought me for Mother's Day and can hardly wait for me to see it.
There was a time when my daughter wanted clothing (and haircuts) I couldn't afford or wouldn't pay for at the time. She'd get snippy or snappy or sullen, too. I learned to simply say, "Well, save your money, honey, and you can buy those things and get that haircut you want." Cut down on a whole lot of wasted energy on my part and ended the cajoling, begging, pleading and acting nasty on her part, too. And........she did earn her own money at some point and bought some of those things she wanted, too. Fortunately, she had outgrown the desire to have her hair cut similar to some of the pop stars of that day by the time she had enough to pick out her own beautician. When she wanted a tongue ring, I had to change my response to, "I understand, honey. You can get that when you're 18 and I don't have to sign."
Being a Mother is certainly a learning experience, isn't it, Melly? Glad to see you know not to take her moods personally and love her enough to tell her "No" when it is necessary. It warmed my heart to see her "bedtime response to you." Aren't they marvelous? Just when we think we're losing a daughter and gaining a little person we're not sure we know, they make our hearts melt, our eyes water and we switch from loving them to loving them even more.
Happy Mother's Day, Melly. You are a delight! Hugs to you and to that sweet daughter whose face I saw all "darted up" just a short time ago. Maybe one day, we'll see that precious person all dressed up in her prom dress aghast at the idea that once she liked "those awful jeans." Blessings for both of you being sent to you from me today.
Melly, you just painted a portrait of what a great mom does and how they do it simply because it's their child. Good to reflect on this day for me and to remember this when I call my mom later. Sorry it wasn't ideal, but glad to get a snapshot of a loving mom to reflect on.
Hope your girl is feeling better sooner than later :) We had the biggest laugh yesterday at lunch .. we planned on going to an ice cream store called Cold Stone after lunch .. I didn't know we had one closer than I thought .. anyway, I thought my oldest was going to sprout demon horns in front of me and my youngest and I were almost on the floor laughing over her reaction. It was similar to the one where we didn't make the movie and didn't make it to the dollar store for candy before hand .. LOL .. she was so funny. Although at the time she didn't find it funny at all. At some point she started laughing too and I'm sure everyone there thought we were nuts. It didn't matter because the demon mood passed as fast as it came on.
I do the best I can as a mom .. it is a good thing. :)
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
We all do the best we can as moms and as humans, too! You did a great job and I hope you had a relaxing second half of your day! I am sitting here alone on Mother's Day, relishing the quiet with the TV off. Just me, my computer, my books, and my dog. I think I'm going to head out for a foot massage in a few minutes, too, and then grab some groceries for the rest of the week. I'm not in a good place right now, but I know that bad days are fleeting, as are sick days, too. Hope your daughter feels better by tomorrow!
One of our local responses to aloha like that is "you da best"...just thought of that and....starting a Melly for sainthood campaign. Just joking cause I know one of the qualifications for that is you gotta be on the "other" side. (((((hugs)))))
