The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newspapers. I briefly felt that scary feeling I felt when I knew I was abt to be beaten. I don't ever want to feel like that again. I am so grateful that I will be moving and I will be getting a new start. I am so grateful to the program and HP I have gotten so much strength and I am not that victim anymore :)
Simply wonderful. I celebrate your refusal to be a victim again.
You are the one taking advantage of the opportunity for your new start. Let us know how it goes.
Texasgal ,
Thank you for sharing your painful memories. It is an honor to share this journey with you and I am so please that you were able to to secure that new position.:)
TG: I can relate to that. I, too, experienced knee jerk reactions to perceived threats for about a year after I left the madness. I did exactly what you are doing in that I changed my life completely. As I built confidence in my own ability to care for myself and for my wellbeing, the "night terrors" and the perceived threats eased greatly. You are doing sooooooo well and your HP has opened a door for you that will be a big help to you as you move away from the old life that is no longer going to be yours. HP will be right there with you, too. You've opened the door to HP's wisdom, guidance and support. Good for you. I learned a song many years ago that is still true for me today. The words helped me whenever I felt and do feel afraid: "If God/HP is for us, who can be against? It is the Spirit of Love that sets us free." You are loved, TG. You are not alone. I see you being set free from being victimized and that makes me so happy for you. Al-Anon is everywhere and even 5 hours away from your current living situation there will be people in Al-Anon waiting for you when you get to your new home and new life.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 9th of May 2014 09:06:51 AM
Those are PTSD symptoms. Not saying you necessarily have PTSD...but it's a normal phenomenon from having experienced trauma. I am amazed by your resilience. Your experience, strength, and hope is medicine to the person who is still stuck in the situation you described.
You know I'm learning to let to of my past history of violence. I still have a problem with my father when I was 14 he picked me up by my hair and threw me across the room. For some reason that is one thing I will never forget. But I am learning to forgive myself and let go of what my dad did. I'm not scared anymore and with continued work I will be a much better person and have peace in my life.
Thank you for your share...it's helps many in so many ways..
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I grew up being sexually and physically abused and had to see a counselor for a long time to get through it in my adulthood and it was the best thing I ever did. It took me years after the counseling to let go and forgive and it still takes dedication to myself to keep myself moving forward and not to let my past distract me from my present. I started seeing a new counselor that has dealt with families of A's to keep myself on track. I am so grateful for al-anon and the tools I have learned here to be able to be better for all that I have been through. Keep on keeping on! Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newspapers. I briefly felt that scary feeling I felt when I knew I was abt to be beaten. I don't ever want to feel like that again. I am so grateful that I will be moving and I will be getting a new start. I am so grateful to the program and HP I have gotten so much strength and I am not that victim anymore :)
good for you!!! changing/taking your life back...glad you are going to enjoy a brand new start....I am a Texan too....you know what they say-------"Don't mess with Texas".....that means us too, LOL.....
PS.......been in the DV hell...it takes a while to feel safe, but you can make you safe...i am.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thank you for the encouraging words. I went to a meeting tonight and I openly shared my experience. I had only shared it with my sponsor and 2 trusted Alanon friends. It was something I thought I would never share but I did and it was encouraging that I was still loved for me. In the abuse I was never good enough and somehow I thought I deserved it. But no one deserves to beaten. I'm so grateful for the program and the wonderful people at the meetings â¡ :)
You are so right! No one deserves to be beaten. I'm glad you opened up and shared your experience at the meeting. There are others who will be benefited by that if they are also hiding the truth about their home life and have been taught they were asking for it or they deserved it and believe the lie. You are healing and helping others heal, too.
Thank you for your share. You sound like a strong woman. I have been doing martial arts for a few years. It has given me so much strength and confidence. I just wanted to share that with you.
