The material presented
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Well I have to say and I always new alcohol was bad. The disease it's self was brutal . This is nothing new to me . I think I'm just more open to realize that this is one tough habit to kick. I don't despise the drinker anymore , for me to cope and get threw this sickness I had to put myself in there shoes to see how bad this disease is.. And not by drinking but really deep educating myself . Some how this all came to me this morning that learning more about the DRINK as I call it , helps me in my own recovery , I'm able to think clearer now. . I'm not with my AH any more , I'm able to focus all of myself on me and stop focussing on what my AH would drink . I over heard some ppl talking about there spouse drinking and how much money they spend on it . One person said why do you care? It's not your money , you don't have to wake up with a hang over, it's only going to hurt them long term . I wanted to start tossing slogans at them 800 numbers to call scream out alaon ! Toss a BIG BOOK at them . And say this is not just one person problem it's everyone's problem THAT has contact in this person life, this is a family problem that just doesn't go away on it's own this takes learning and realizing and wanting to know how to live in this with out drowning . My children suffers from this the drinker might be gone and the bottle is empty but we are still in a puddle left behind that still affects us. I do believe the family takes a longer time to heal and left wiping up the spill. This disease doesn't go away after 12 steps it's stays with you forever it's a matter of understanding it and willing to work thru it to live in a healthy way, I had a family member say to me well at least the drinker is gone now u have nothing to worry about and you don't need to go to those meetings anymore.. That's when I new that this person has no idea about alcoholism . My goal now is to support family's who are living with the active Alcoholic . I can't point the finger anymore to pass blame on the alcoholic . Now that I think about it my AH never pointed the finger at me and that's because his hands were always full with drinks , where I didn't drink and had the fingers to point didn't make me healthier then him it only showed me how sick I was to I was to busy passing blame on him when I should of been educating myself on the disease it self and start healing .
So sorry this was long but I just wanted to share this with everyone . That I am still working my program and never stopped and now taking the time to learn more .
I'm happy today .
((((Wisdom)))) This wasn't long enough for some. I have the urge to cry reading this "inner scream from a victim of this fatal disease" because some of what you thought and said is very close to what I thought and said before program. I still remember screams I held back on yet have the urge to do now. What is important is that you "get it" even while others haven't or never will. Your job is you which is also our job is us and joined together here at MIP the combined work; ESH can support and save a lot of misery. Mahalo plenty for your wisdom. I've stifled the yet unreleased scream and moan. I can save it for later if need be. (((((hugs)))))
Glad to hear you are away from AH, it sounds like things have settled down a little bit. If so, that's great. Now is that time when you get a little time without the craziness to sit back and contemplate the craziness you just went through. Keep processing and going to those meetings, you are 100% right, you still need them, and yes, I think it will always affect us even if A is gone.
Dear Wisdom,
Thank you so very much for your honesty and humility. It is evident that you have been working your program and are beginning to reap the benefits. Happy to read that you are "happy" today.
Your got it sister. Your taking care of you and letting go and giving it over to him.
I remember the last paragraph of the " Open Letter from a Alcoholic "
Above all, do learn all you can about alcoholism and your role in relation to me.
Go to open AA meetings when you can. Attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read the literature and keep in touch with Al-Anon members.
They're the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly.
One good bit of advice....
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
