The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a share...and if you make it through reading this, I have a question at the end...LOL!
Last night was a close call and I don't want to go through any more nights worrying about what the A is going to do. This past week I had decided to take the financial loss and let the A take the Jeep and all the tools I'd paid for along with the computer, etc etc etc.... It just hadn't happened yet with all the drama, son's injury, and bustle of my unorganized life:)
I like to talk to HP on my drive to and from work whenever I'm alone, but usually I have the best conversations on my way home:) and Thursday night was no exception. I had my little soundtrack playing on a random setting and was asking HP for guidance since I have no idea of what will happen at next week's appointment, or anything, really. I like to think I have control of things, but it's really HP's show. I basically said that I was hoping to have the opportunity to do a few things that I want, but I realized Man proposes and God disposes.... I said, HP what do I do, I'm flying blind here, everything's up in the air... And the next songs that came on just brought a smile to my face. The first one says "Girl, pack your bags real good, cause you'll be gone for awhile. You never had it so good." There was another called Seeing Things for the First Time, then Born to Run by Emmylou Harris...just an incredible set:) Yes, I know that those songs were added by me, but on random out of hundreds of songs, I really felt like I was receiving some wise counsel;)
Last night the A was drunk/high and very agitated. He was raging but i couldn't understand what about. I stayed in my room. He kept driving off and returning within a few minutes. I considered calling the police but have never had any response in the past from them so I said my prayers and went to sleep. Everything appears the same today.
So my question is on the subject of signing the Jeep over to the A. I looked online and apparently even if I sign it over to him, I can still be held liable until he completes the transfer. the Jeep is the only thing we have in both of our names. We are not married. I live in CA.
I sold a car once to somebody who didn't do her part in transferring the title. The State kept the car in my name even though I had signed the title over to the other driver and had a receipt. I learned that if I did that again, 1. We both meet at the Secretary of State's office to make the transfer or 2. I get the driver's license, a properly executed receipt, and a non-partial witness to the deal or 3. I just sell it to a dealer and forget it.
I have had similar concerns because my stbax had a truck in both our names. It has tickets that keep coming in my name. I talked to the local police. I have legally done everything I can do what saves me is we do not reside together. Plus I have attys involved already with documentation he has the truck. As far as I can tell nothing has been changed we will see. He has no insurance. The tags will be due again in August and last year he didn't pay them. The city is working with me .. is just typical on my stbax's part to make things as complicated as possible. Call and talk to the dmv office they may be able to help you. Hugs s :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
What Constitutes a Change in Ownership? California
Any change of the registered owner or lienholder (legal owner) of a vehicle or vessel is considered to be a change in ownership that must be updated on the records at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). The change is usually due to:
Sale or gift
Adding or deleting the name of an owner
Inheritance
Satisfaction of lien (full payment of car loan)
Just check with the DMV but I think if your not on the title anymore your not liable but he does have to do the transfer. Just give it to him and say you will go with him to the DMV and then you will for sure know it's done.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I would go to Motor Vehiciles together and you sign over and he pays for the registration in his name at the same time this way you know it is done. If he really wants the Jeep he may be cooperative....maybe..... og
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
What I did was write an ad for the local newspaper withdrawing my responsibility for anything attached to my alcoholic/addict and then posting it 3 times in the local paper over a 10 day period of time. That worked...had a couple of concerned calls and only a couple and when I repeated the ad to them I was done and she was fully responsible (and pissed). ((((hugs))))
