The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now.
Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones.
I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types...
Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it was ok to dump her stuff onto me in front of everyone else. I should have cut her of immediately but instead I spoke with her about it. I should have stepped back silently right away before I was verbally attacked, judged, and blamed as it all being "my fault".
i am learning.
However there have been more people who have tried this recently with me whom I have detached from immediately so there is progress
The triggering and the exhaustion is no longer welcome in my life, I'm sorry but no. These people will play on your guilt or kindness and make you second guess yourself all over the place...you can't believe anyone would act that way so you're sure they must be misunderstanding you...they are not.
My boundaries need to be firm, fast, hard at this point.
Also God has brought me a healthy fellowship of people to hang out with and I'm going to be with them today. It's as if the Universe is just pushing and pushing me to kinder people, healthier people.
i feel pretty good today. I deserve better company.
i have also seen lately that I probably don't need much AA anymore. A little here and there, but my Alanon issues are really my problem now so I have to let go and let God bring me where He wants me. I'm a little surprised to imagine that it might not be so hard, that I don't have to live a tiny, shameful, hard life alone :)
Hi, WTI: Thanks for the share. Glad you are so aware that you don't have to live a tiny, shameful and hard life alone. Prayers for continued growth and joy for you!
That's right!
We don't have to allow ourselves to be sucked into other people's vortexes of insanity.
If we don't step back we get caught in the crossfire and burned.
I know that eventual I will come more to the center and be "lovingly detached" in my feelings around this.
Melodie Beattie says we might make mistakes at first too. We might offend someone if we misjudge. Oh no!
It's ok. We can always apologize if it is truly discovered that we were wrong. But ONLY then! Please! Take it from me!!!
I certainly know where my exhaustion comes from now!
How nice it will be to let go and enjoy the life God has for me. Relaxing. Nice and easy.
Right. Besides what people think if us is none of our business, right? That has always sounded kinda harsh to me, but I have discovered it really is about having courage to change what we know we need to and dont worry about other peoples' opinions, which we dont really know and have no real control over anyway.
Dear WTI, what an encouraging, honest share. I too found that the healthier I became the less and less I could endure the company of destructive "so-called" friends. Yes, I do agree that your Higher Power is guiding you to healthier friends and a richer life. I am so happy for you.
We had many long time AA folks in my Al-Anon meeting who feel that AA keeps some sober and is a must but that Al-Anon helps them to have a richer fuller life. I'm glad you are discovering that as well.
Thanks all.
I was still a little "jarred" when in wrote this earlier this morning but now I see it all more lightly.
Hanging out with my spiritual teachers group today showed me we really need to change our old negative thoight patterns before we leave this earth.
So I see the altercation I had with this person as a little funny.
Spiritual teacher also emphasized the importance of good company :)
Right. Besides what people think if us is none of our business, right? That has always sounded kinda harsh to me, but I have discovered it really is about having courage to change what we know we need to and dont worry about other peoples' opinions, which we dont really know and have no real control over anyway.
Kenny
Thanks for this! Helps me with my situation. I am slowly getting better not worrying about what other people think!
Thanks for the update, WTI.